How do you handle bad service at restaurants?

[Racetrackreject]

I did something today that I have never done in my entire life. I did not leave any tip at all for my server. I wasn't really sure how else to handle the situation and the owner was busy, so I couldn't speak with him directly.

What would you have done?

There is a small restaurant in town where my carpooler and I eat lunch at least once a week. The owner knows us (he's been to my farm before I sold it for various things eggs/chickens/farm equipment) and most all of the day waitstaff know us as well. They know what we drink and generally what we order, and typically will bring our drinks and just verify that we want the "usual" before placing our order. Of course that is not expected, just a perk of being a long time customer.
Today, we went to eat at this particular restaurant and we were seated by the owner in the section of a waitress who has been there for a while and has waited on us before. She's not a particularly good waitress, but it's usually not a horrible experience.
After sitting for about 15ish minutes with no effort on the waitresses part to take our drink order or brings us chips and salsa, while she was busy doing just that for people who were seated after us, the owner came over and took our drink orders and brought our chips and salsa.
About 10 minutes later, the waitress came by and said that she would be back to take our order in just a bit. We watched her take the orders of everyone else in her section, including those who came after, before she came back and took our order. This was about another 10-15 minutes later.
We never received our food. I finally stopped the waitress and asked if she could make our orders to go orders because we were both already late getting back for work.
All told, we were in the restaurant at our table for 45 minutes, never received our food, and spoke to our waitress a total of 2 times. When we went to pay for our drinks, the owner's son said that our food was ready and had been, and that he would put it in to-go boxes for us. Finally we received our food, but were late back from lunch and with no time to eat.
Now, I'm generally a fairly decent tipper. I will tip a minimum of $5 for any check $20 and under, generally regardless of quality of service, but if the service is great I tip more. Just this weekend I tipped our waiter $10 on a $26 dollar check because he was really on top of things (Except that weird moment when I asked him where the bathroom was and he took me to the bathroom instead of just telling me.) Basically, I don't think there is anything I could have done to initiate the bad service. I don't think I have a rep as a bad tipper or anything like that.

Anyway, what would you have done?

[kande50]

I would have asked her why she was taking care of everyone else and ignoring us.

[Racetrackreject]

I would have asked her why she was taking care of everyone else and ignoring us.

I actually started to do this, but on the off chance that we did actually receive our food, I didn't want it to be spit in...lol.

[Canyon]

I think I'd call the owner and explain that you had a really bad experience with that waitress. If I had an employee that treated customers like that, I would want to know.

[kande50]

I actually started to do this, but on the off chance that we did actually receive our food, I didn't want it to be spit in...lol.

Good call.

Maybe ask her after you got your food?

[hoopoe]

Since he owner was involved a bit, I suspect they already knew something was going wrong. I would drop by at a less busy time and talk to the owner.

the waitress is a marginal performer, per your previous experience and obviously her service was impacted by something.

we all have horrible rotten days at work, something may have flipped her world over.

[WheresMyWhite]

Yeah, we all have rotten days at work. Yeah, maybe something may have flipped her world over. Not buying it. She interacted with other guests before RTR. She did not appear to be apologetic for her behavior.

If one is in a customer serviced oriented job and your day is so bad (and yes, we are all entitled to them) that you do not feel you can provide adequate service, then make apologies to the owner/manager/supervisor and *go home*. You are not entitled to provide poor customer service to your guests/clients/customers and take your crappy day out on them. They are, after all, paying your paycheck.

I would probably have left 25 cents (just to show that I thought about the tip rather than completely forgetting about it) and I would stop by for a very informal chat with the owner. Maybe the owner was aware of this but still, IMO, the service was subpar (owner included). I would be sure to make clear that you don't expect preferential service but the same service as any other guest would be appreciated.

[horsepepsi]

There used to be a sign to a waitress that one received something less than what was expected service, I don't know if the current generation would get it or not. But it was a penny upside down.
Back in the day when a server got one of those they knew that they screwed up some how and if the patron was still in the building they would go up and apologize to them for the bad service. If not then they would go over what they did or didn't do correctly. But the messages was clear, somehow they screwed up bad.

[Kelo]

Since you have a relationship, of sorts, with these folks (such that they know your name), I think I'd mention it to the owner. I mean....that's really bad, and hopefully they would want to apologize for it. But everyone has a bad day, and it's not indicative of the overall place, since you obviously go there a lot, so I wouldn't hammer the owner either.

I wouldn't have tipped either, incidentally. I also try to be a good tipper, but I'm not going to pay for service I didn't get.

[Racetrackreject]

Oh wow, I had never heard of the penny thing. It almost sounds like a mob thing, you know horse head in the bed, fish wrapped in newspaper, penny upside down on the table..lol.

Thank you for your responses. Yes, I think I will speak with the owner. I've also given some thought to asking to be seated elsewhere if I'm taken to this waitress' section again.

Yes, I agree that everyone has a bad day and I'm the sort who will typically say something when I notice this going on. I've commented to servers who were obviously new and flustered or to ones that I could tell were just having a bad day something along the lines of "Are you new? *they say yes* Well, you're doing a really good job (even if they weren't), don't let the grumpy people get to you. We were all new once and it takes a while to get rhythm going, so keep your head up." or "Bad day eh? *yes* Well it's great that you're not letting it ruin your day. Try not to get too frustrated, people are crazy! Just do the best you can and let the rest go.". Anyway, that's my long way of saying that I don't think this was a bad day, our waitress was chatting away with other customers and being very helpful to them.

I still feel bad about not tipping. It's not the way I was brought up, but I felt I needed to do something.

Thanks again! I'll update once I get to speak with the owner.

[PaulaO]

I'm having a bad day today but I will still do my work, do it correctly, on time, and professionally. If her day was that bad she should have stayed home.

RTR, I agree with the suggestion to talk to the owner. Let us know what he said.

[Tarlo Farm]

There used to be a sign to a waitress that one received something less than what was expected service, I don't know if the current generation would get it or not. But it was a penny upside down.
Back in the day when a server got one of those they knew that they screwed up some how and if the patron was still in the building they would go up and apologize to them for the bad service. If not then they would go over what they did or didn't do correctly. But the messages was clear, somehow they screwed up bad.

When I was a waitress, the rule was if you got a penny in addition to your tip, it meant you had done a wonderful job. I never paid any attention to whether it was upside down or right side up.

But I was a damn good waitress.

[WheresMyWhite]

I still feel bad about not tipping. It's not the way I was brought up, but I felt I needed to do something.

I always tip (and try to tip very nicely if the service was exceptional) but as Kelo said, why tip for service you didn't get.

I also like your thought that if you're ever again seated in her area, ask to be re-seated.

In some things, I find I am more compassionate and forgiving as I get older. In other things, not so much

[Racetrackreject]

Just an update-

We went back to the restaurant today and bad waitress was working. I quickly grabbed one of the good waitresses and asked if we could be seated in her section. I also asked to speak to the owner but he was out today.

Our waitress today made a comment, first thing out of her mouth, "I couldn't believe you guys didn't get your food last time!". Since she opened the door to the conversation, we discussed with her what had happened. She said, "I was at the pass when she came over and said that you guys wanted to make your order to go. I actually said to her, "they've been here over 30 minutes and still haven't received their food????"". So yeah, we weren't the only ones who noticed what happened, and I will still try to speak to the owner the next time we go in. I feel better having someone who can corroborate our side, just in case it was called into question.

[WheresMyWhite]

RTR, glad someone else noticed! I hope she got a nice tip today

Yeah, the owner needs to know. I'm reading a interesting/funny book called Waiter Rant. I think good waiters know the state of guests in the restaurant...

[Josette]

I would write it off as a bad day for whatever the reason. It appears the owner and other servers noticed you were not taken care of - so I would not make a big deal of it. You are a regular customer and hopefully it will not happen again. If it repeats - then I would approach the owner. As previously mentioned, I wouldn't want to have her spit in your food the next time....

[StraightForward]

I think you handled that totally fairly and gracefully.

Usually, rather than complaining, we just leave and never go back. A couple months ago, we went to our favorite brew pub downtown and sat at one of the outside tables. The waitress brought us water right away, but we asked her to come back for our drink orders, because they have a huge beer list to read through. She eventually did; I ordered a cocktail and my husband asked for tasters of two different beers, which is something the totally do. Then... she just never came back. After about 20 minutes, the other waiter brought drinks to the tables on either side of us, which had arrived after us, and saw us looking around forlornly and asked if we needed something. Said he would check on our drinks, then came back and proceeded to wait on his tables without telling us that our drinks were coming or anything. About ten minutes later we looked at each other and said forget it, got up and left. The tables next to us had even noticed at this point that we were getting no service and made some comments. We'll probably give this place another chance because we've always gotten good service before, but another strike and they'll be blacklisted. This is probably why we eat at home 95% of the time.