Feeling like a failure as a dog mom

[Jan & PJ]

Let me start by saying I've always had dogs. I have shown in obedience for around 20 years. I have a Belgian Malinois that I've had since she was a year old and now is around 10. She was obedience trained when I got her but she wasn't very obedient with us so I took her to obedience classes. She did better at agility than obedience but she did OK. On occasion for no apparent reason she would snap at people...kids and anyone getting down on her level. She is also very aggressive with strangers and impossible to call off. If I know company is coming I will put her in the outside kennel which was a good compromise as we don't get company all that often. She seems to be getting worse as she gets older. She has recently snapped at me a couple of times. The first time there was someone at the door and I asked her to go in her crate. When she refused, I reached for her collar to guide her into the crate and she snapped at me. The second time I was putting her leash on her collar and she snapped at me. Yes she spends way too much time in her crate since I can't leave her alone in the house even for a few minutes because she counter surfs, gets in the trash and tears up the furniture. I can't let her outside off leash because if a car comes by she will go after it and will not come back when I call her. I have to get in my car and she will get in the car. I do not have a fenced yard because I've always had dogs that come to me when called no matter what.

I'm beating myself up enough so I really don't need any more of that but if you have some suggestions I'm all ears because I'm at the point of thinking of having her put down. I have never had a dog this difficult and I'm just at a loss.

[Chisamba]

For ten toewarmers you have had a dog that needs a fence, so I do not quite understand your comment that you have never needed a fence.

Perhaps you need to give her a job that is acceptable to you,, so that she does not make her own job? That would be my suggestion.

I suspect an animal behaviorist would be more help than an internet community, because perhaps there is something you are missing in what triggers her response. From pain in her neck to resentment of the restraint.

[Kelo]

First of all, Belgian Malinois are notorious for being one of THE most difficult breeds out there, period. They are famous for aggressiveness and also for singlemindedness -- ie the car chasing, etc.

So keep that in mind - you're struggling with a very difficult personality, the kind of dog that even professionals struggle with. There's no shame in that.

Given that, it sounds like she's getting older. Would you be able to take her to the vet to see if she is in pain? This might be something she's silently suffering from, thus causing her patience to be shorter (hence the snapping). Maybe she needs painkillers or....?

The only other thing I can think of is maybe seeing if you can find a trainer/behaviorist to help you. Even if there isn't one in your area, there are opportunities to do Skype lessons or video consultations online. There are probably hints she is giving you that you're missing. And I don't mean that in a mean way -- an expert with fresh eyes can see and help point out things that you've just overlooked with 10 years of close contact.

You're a good dog mom to worry and try to help her, and don't ever think you're not. Hugs to you as you navigate this.

[Bosko]

Not sure where you are located, but a friend of mine in Michigan is a dog trainer and is very familiar with the breed. she currently has a Belgin Malinois herself. I'm sure she would have some ideas if you would like her contact information.

[boots-aregard]

Sounds like a very difficult situation. Either get the behaviorist out there NOW, or put the dog down. She's already told you she's taking over as the top animal in the house. Pretty soon it won't just be snapping.

[Jan & PJ]

Thanks for all the input. My previous mal had me spoiled, not that I expect this dog to be just like her but Figi was so easy. Once she was introduced to someone she was awesome. I never had to worry about her with the kids that came to visit. I won't let this girl anywhere around kids anymore. The pain issue is a real possibility. She is older and slower, just like me, these days. I didn't need a fence because we have around 50 acres and the other dogs wouldn't get far enough away from me to get off the property. Figi hated being out of our sight so she was always with me inside or out.

Our first trip will be to the vet, she is due for her vaccinations anyway. Bosko if you will pm me your friends contact info, they will be next on the list. This girl is a tough one but she has such a funny personality, I still love her.

Edited to add: Having a dog for me is like having air to breathe but this dog has been so difficult she will probably be my last. At least until I retire. Since I've gotten into horses I don't have nearly the time I used to have to raise a puppy.

[Bosko]

Looks like I am not authorized to use PMs (need to participate more)

Pawsitive K-9 Obedience On Facebook, Angie Falcsik.

I'll try PMs again after i post more to give you phone #.

Eta- i can pm now- phone # sent, best of luck with your dog

[Jan & PJ]

First of all, Belgian Malinois are notorious for being one of THE most difficult breeds out there, period. They are famous for aggressiveness and also for singlemindedness -- ie the car chasing, etc.

So keep that in mind - you're struggling with a very difficult personality, the kind of dog that even professionals struggle with. There's no shame in that.

Given that, it sounds like she's getting older. Would you be able to take her to the vet to see if she is in pain? This might be something she's silently suffering from, thus causing her patience to be shorter (hence the snapping). Maybe she needs painkillers or....?

The only other thing I can think of is maybe seeing if you can find a trainer/behaviorist to help you. Even if there isn't one in your area, there are opportunities to do Skype lessons or video consultations online. There are probably hints she is giving you that you're missing. And I don't mean that in a mean way -- an expert with fresh eyes can see and help point out things that you've just overlooked with 10 years of close contact.

You're a good dog mom to worry and try to help her, and don't ever think you're not. Hugs to you as you navigate this.

Thanks Kelo. Lots of good info in your post. I really appreciate your input. I thought I had done my research on the breed and like I said, our first one was super special. This one is just kind of special in her own way

[Jan & PJ]

Looks like I am not authorized to use PMs (need to participate more)

Pawsitive K-9 Obedience On Facebook, Angie Falcsik.

I'll try PMs again after i post more to give you phone #.

Eta- i can pm now- phone # sent, best of luck with your dog

Found it, thanks!

[orono]

Can you set up a comfortable indoor/outdoor run, so she doesn't have to be crated? At 10 she may be somewhat arthritic and the confinement is making her sore, contributing to her crankiness. I would also try keeping a 6ft leash on her at all times (dragging) so if you do have to 'grab' her you don't have to go for the collar, many dogs find it threatening and react accordingly.

[angela9823]

I've discussed my neighbor many times. He has 4 full blooded wolves and 8 crosses. He uses a BM to keep them in check (many people that raise wolf crosses use them for that reason)! BMs are one of those dogs that I couldn't be paid to take on. They are great dogs, but they seem to be a mix of a lot of difficulties - strong, individually minded, high drive, high energy, extremely protective, aggressive dominant personality etc. Did I say dominant personality?? The neighbor's BM gets in the middle of a fight with four of the wolf/wolf crosses and comes out the winner. He rules the roost even when he weights 50 lbs less than some of the others.

Any possibility of taking the dog to a trainer/daycare every day while you are at work? Or perhaps having someone come over on a regular basis to exercise the dog doing light obedience work and even agility work (keeping in mind that she may have arthritis)? I think it is great that you had the obedience training done but it sounds like it hasn't been used in some time. While 50 acres is a lot of roaming room, what about long walks with the dog where you continue working on obedience?

And while there may be an arthritis issue in her neck, I may still consider an electric collar for a dog like this.

[PaulaO]

Is it legal to keep wolves??? I would be so scared....

[Hayburner]

My last dog did get cranky and more snippy as he aged. His health was failing, as well as, his vision and hearing.

Taking her to the vet to rule out pain, vision, etc. is a good idea. If it's not a pain, etc. issue and she has to spend more time in her crate due to behavior it may be time to think about putting her down. She's probably more miserable having too much crate time.

[ProudHorse]

Can you put a line up between two posts or trees in an empty area like a lawn so there is nothing to get entangled in, put a halter on her - not collar - and attach her to a long line so she can move a little. Add some shade, a water bowl, a comfy bed and she would not have to be crated as much as you worry she is.

[Alex]

Sorry, you're going through this. It's never easy to suddenly have a growing naughty dog situation come to a head. It sounds like some aspects of her training fell through the cracks early on in her younger years. It also sounds like she probably CAME TO YOU w/the snapping at people behaviour already in her. Was she ever tested or trained for schutzhund prior to you? If you don't know her first year's history already, can you contact the person you got her from to get that history? it might help you figure out how to treat this snappiness whether through a behaviorist or a trainer or both. It might be uncomfortable calling the person up and asking what her bite history was before you got her but it would also save you a lot of time trying to figure out how her biting and behavioral history has developed over time.

I would get her checked out for health (things like Lyme disease and arthritis) but it honestly doesn't sound to me like her physical health is the underlying issue. it sounds more like her psychology and her temperament and training and a lifestyle that's just not meeting her needs over a long period of time. Most malinois are just not bred to be cooped-up-in-the-crate or left-in-the-kennel dogs. You need to offset any exercise restrictions or isolation from you w/LOTS and LOTS of exercise and mental activity w/breaks during the day. I'd see if taking her back to agility makes your mal happier by getting her back into some high energy movement and play. If she was never socialized extensively w/people and w/other dogs, it might be too late to successfully do that but I'd let a behaviorist or a trainer who's either a breeder of malinois or has an extensive familiarity w/the breed help you make that decision if you can find good professionals. Another thing to consider is working w/a malinois trainer over a few weeks' of your vacation for a few hours a day and seeing if the person could help you reshape your bond w/your girl. Doing lots of fun training on a daily basis might give you a chance to have a breakthrough w/her mentally. Another thing about training at a malinois breeder's kennel for a couple of weeks is that you'd have a chance to OBSERVE HOURS and HOURS of OTHER MALS and THEIR TRAINING REGIMENS which would also give you an idea of just how much doggy brain work and doggy emotions and doggy psychology are at work in the daily lives of malinois. They're no couch potatoes!

I have my eye on buying a puppy out of a long-haired double-coated Malinois bitch who's in one of our affiliated Search and Rescue groups. She's the absolutely sweetest mal I've ever met in my life. Her mum is also exceptionally sweet. I have turned down some other Malinois lines I've been offered because I've got a completely non-dog type of guy who would be overwhelmed by a trickier mal. I hope you two end up finding the right person to help you both out.

[Jan & PJ]

Thank you all. Alex, the previous owners got her from a lady that never socialized her as a puppy. They did quite a bit of obedience training and socialization with her but were reserved about her progress. I would not be surprised if she were trained or tested for Schutzhund and failed with her noise aversion and handler aggression since she came from a kennel that specializes in protection dogs. I thought I would be able to work with her through that with more socialization through obedience and agility. I've done some trick training and worked with her on some service dog like tasks and seek exercises but she is not real bright and didn't seem very food motivated at the time. She has since gotten a little more interested in treats so I might go back and try some of that. I think she would enjoy doing some on line scent tracking but not sure how to set that up. Anyone know of any good websites or have information on how to train for that. It would be good exercise for both of us!

[Silverado]

It's makes it a tad more challenging when they are not food motivated. What do mean by line scent tracking? Are you referring to something like AKC tracking (TD, TDX, VST, TDU)? Or the somewhat new sport of nose work?

If you are interested in tracking, I can help you find websites/books/articles/equipment.

[Alex]

Tracking requires lots of brainwork out of your mal but I doubt you're going to want to be dragged behind a high-drive mal for a few miles every day to burn off enough of her energy! And mals do need lots of physical work each day to be satisfied. Search and Rescue people call them 'German shepherds on crack' for a reason!!! You can do workouts in BRIEF HARD-WORKING SPURTS 3/4X a day if you work at home or in LONGER SESSIONS BEFORE and AFTER WORK if you work away from home. If you really do want to try tracking, I'd be sure and investigate at least a few other high-energy sports like frisbee and agility for at least a few days each week. I'm not recommending this toy in particular (Hurrik9-Launching Ring Toy) because I've never seen this toy used and I have no idea how durable it is, but this is the sort of toy I'd recommend: one that required long distance retrieves from your dog which could eventually be combined w/obedience/directionals work. You could also look into a tennis ball serve tosser or a pitching ball server which range from inexpensive to very, very expensive. (Obviously, buy the cheaper models or look for used ones.)

http://odditymall.com/hurrik9-launching-ring-doy-toy

http://www.mansionathletics.com/jugs-to ... aQodnjgADQ

Selecting this sort of toy will do two things, it'll provide satisfaction for your dog in the way of endorphin production that you can harness to make her more welcoming of your management of her and it will give you less obtrusive opportunities to practice her obedience skills. Once she's been brought back into the obedience mold and is listening better and sees you as being a source of really good, fun things, hopefully some of her misdirected aggression will begin to abate.

I really would find a good malinois trainer though since they're liable to have dealt w/mals w/similar issues as your girl's. Best of luck.

[angela9823]

:o Is it legal to keep wolves??? I would be so scared....

Unfortunately for us, yes. With a license a person can own them and breed them. My neighbor was in a group that bred them for working dogs (sled pulling etc) and then decided these animals should not be owned. So he's letting the breeding animals die out (including the full wolves) and then he gets rescues in occasionally. Two of the full blooded wolves got out one day and the male attacked my cow. It was not pretty and gave me a great appreciation for the power of those animals. One bite went clean through her tail. Thankfully he didn't land too many bites but instead hung on to her tail until we chased him off. It WAS a scary day until he finally got them back in. He has some great fencing for these animals but those two had dug under the slab of the house. He now has wire under the dirt of their pen as well as the eight foot tall fencing with another two foot of wire across the top of that. I think it is now built better than some prisons but what a sad existence for those types of animals.