Pet names in the workplace

[Racetrackreject]

I have been the recipient of a pet name at work recently. It feels weird. It is weird right?

We are "work friends", and I probably would let the it slide outside of work, maybe. He didn't use it around other people at work, and I don't think he would. It just felt a little too familiar for workplace use. If that makes sense.

How do you feel about these things? How would you handle it?

[Josette]

Yes - not appropriate IMO. If repeated, I would politely ask him not to use it.

[Tuddy]

The way I look at it - if it bothers you, that makes it inappropriate.

I work in the oil/gas/construction industry, so very male dominated. I have one pet name in particular that I am okay with, it is more of a nick name really. And then one of my co-workers tried to give me another nickname and I didn't like it, so I shot it down right away.

On another note, when I read the title of the thread, I thought you were looking names for a pet you have a work. I was totally looking forward to pictures of a cat or something! LOL!

[Racetrackreject]

LOL! That's so funny Tuddy! I do bring my JRT to work with me sometimes and both of the owner's dogs often come to work as well. We're very pet friendly. =)

I work in a male dominated field as well and the name is not awful or anything (Booboo). The only reason it seems weird to me is because it feels too familiar in the workplace. Like if someone overhead it, they may think there was something more going on maybe? "No, don't worry, you're good Booboo." is how it was used the first time and in a similar way the second time.

Thanks Josette. That's what I was thinking, but I'm trying to figure out how best to go about it. It hasn't been brought up so far today.

[PaulaO]

I think it's weird, but maybe it isn't weird if you work in a small place where people are friends outside of work. But I echo Tuddy, if you don't like it, then it's inappropriate.

[Racetrackreject]

I think it's weird, but maybe it isn't weird if you work in a small place where people are friends outside of work. But I echo Tuddy, if you don't like it, then it's inappropriate.

Yes, it is a small company with not many of us that stay in the office. We are probably inappropriate a lot when it's just our group in the office. Lots of WTFs get thrown around and things like that. It just felt weird, like I said, it felt too familiar. If it comes up again today, I'll have to say something, just not sure of the best way to do that.

[Minz]

Ok, I am going to offer a possible reason. Not that it makes it acceptable, because I am firmly in the no nicknames at work camp, but here goes. I have noticed recently that I almost never use people's names when I am speaking to them. Eg "No, don't worry you are good." Full stop, no names because I can't trust myself to come up with the right one. I use Poppet for all animals belonging to other people, even if I know the name, and I use My Little Pumpkin for my niece and nephews. It is possible that the first time he used it while grasping for your name, and when you didn't object, thought ok this is easier than using real names, particularly if it is something he does with people outside work. This does not make it right. That interaction is completely acceptable without any name tagged at the end. I would address it if it comes up again by questioning it jokingly with a laugh in your voice. "Booboo? Really, do I look like a Booboo?" Or something like it, but that is the way I would deal. Good luck.

[Ponichiwa]

It may just be me, but diminutive nicknames make me very uncomfortable-- it's like a not-so-subtle "go back to your place, little girl, and leave business to the menfolks". I worked with a man who would consistently say things to undermine my (and other women in the office's) credibility, so I may be oversensitive to the issue.

If it's all in good fun, I like Minz's approach. If it feels more systemic than that, let me know when you have an answer because I sure don't.

[KathyK]

Of course, the passive-aggressive approach would be to call him Booboo right back, but...

How about, "Let's keep it to our real names, OK?" said with a smile.

[Koolkat]

It may just be me, but diminutive nicknames make me very uncomfortable

I had the same response - once maybe in a particular context, but as a label, NO.

[capstone]

It may just be me, but diminutive nicknames make me very uncomfortable

I had the same response - once maybe in a particular context, but as a label, NO.

No, not just you. This one comes across to me more as condescending than romantic/sexual, but either way...no go.

I have a good friend at work who has a particular pet name for me. It is not often used, and I realize it could possibly be misconstrued. But it doesn't bother me as it's not particularly condescending, more of an inside joke.

[Racetrackreject]

I don't think it was meant as demeaning at all. This person is pretty new to the company (1.5 months) and just yesterday he was saying how he was "terrified" that I leave for vacation tomorrow. He doesn't really know all that he needs to atm and I've been trying to help him get up to speed as much as I can. He's been receptive to the help and often asks me about things he doesn't understand. I just don't get THAT vibe from him at all.

I think Minz is probably close to the situation. I even put it in a similar way to a friend of mine yesterday, when asking her opinion. I think this may be something he does with friends or family and he just sort of slipped and said it once, and when I didn't say anything, he took it as being ok. As I said, I would probably be ok with it outside of work.

Thanks for the responses. I think that, if it happens again, I will probably say something like "where did that come from?" and open a dialog about it from there. On one hand I don't want him to think that we can't be casual around each other since our work environment is pretty casual, but on the other, I think the name is too- can't think if the right word. I want to say intimate, but that's not exactly right. That's why I keep saying familiar. Everyone I know uses Booboo as a term of endearment and while I'm sure he doesn't mean it that way, I'm afraid that's what it would look like to others.

[capstone]

I think familiar is a very good way to put it.

[Mareless]

I think it's a little odd, but sounds like no harm meant. Although next time he called you Booboo I'd be really tempted to say something along the lines of "seen any pick-in-nick baskets lately, Yogi? Or some other Yogi Bear reference, because that is what I think of when I hear"Booboo".

[heddylamar]

Nicknames are fine, but this is way too familiar. I'd put a stop to it immediately before he ventures into creepy territory.

My last boss saw nothing wrong with calling female coworkers "honey" or "sweetie." Still have no clue why it was acceptable to the female CEO (I complained).

[Flight]

Yep, it's one of those things you are best stopping early but typically we don't like to offend by telling them to stop it.
Sounds like he is probably feeling non-creepy affectionate towards you, because you are helping him out and he appreciates it.

[Astral]

As another person working in a male dominated field... I wouldn't put up with it. I'm in a constant battle to be taken seriously, and diminutive nicknames would in no way help the cause! It sounds like the guy in question doesn't mean harm by it, but I would still draw the line.

[Tarlo Farm]

Just call him "Yogi" the next time he uses it.

As was stated, if it makes you uncomfortable, then that's that. I used to run heavy equipment and sometimes the guys would shorten my last name. That was affectionate. One day a mechanic suggested "we call you Nipples". I shot back that was fine, "we'll call you Penis". That was the end of it.

[LeoApp]

Tarlo - love it!!
I would just say, "Just call me Gina. That's what I answer to". Or something like that.

[redsoxluvr]

Maybe he uses that term with his friends and simply made a mistake? I wouldn't take it too personally.
It doesn't seem like his intent was to diminish you or speak unkindly to you. Now, if he said it in a way that
was disparaging or mean spirited, I would definitely take him to task on it.
Otherwise I would just let it go.

If he persists on making comments that you are not comfortable with, then say something.

[Racetrackreject]

Well, I screwed up. I left for a 10 day vacation and on the day I flew out, the guy texts me in a panic because the crew guys needed something that is outside the realm of what this guy needs to know how to do. I tried to give him directions via text of how to do what was needed and apologized that it was long and confusing, but I was already on the plane and needed to put it in airplane mode.
As soon as I landed, I called the guy and walked him through what needed to be done. It just took a few minutes and when we were done, I said, "So are you good now Booboo?", and he responded with "I'm good Booboo, thank you.".

WTH? I cannot believe that came out of my mouth!! I have no rational explanation for why I said it other than I was in a rush and, literally, was not thinking or paying attention. I gasped when it came out of my mouth. I'm so mad at myself!!!

On the plus side, I came back to a HUGE pay raise. I think maybe the full volume of what I do at the company was noticed in my absence...lol.

[WheresMyWhite]

Whoot-whoot on the huge raise!!!!

Now what camera equipment do you need?

[Racetrackreject]

Whoot-whoot on the huge raise!!!!

Now what camera equipment do you need?

LOL! Sadly, it looks like I will be trading my nice new Jeep that I love for a nice new truck, that I'm sure I'll like well enough, but meh. My farm truck is officially dead, and I have to have a truck for hay and other horse things, so yeah, I'm buying a truck.

[KathyK]

Well, I screwed up. I left for a 10 day vacation and on the day I flew out, the guy texts me in a panic because the crew guys needed something that is outside the realm of what this guy needs to know how to do. I tried to give him directions via text of how to do what was needed and apologized that it was long and confusing, but I was already on the plane and needed to put it in airplane mode.
As soon as I landed, I called the guy and walked him through what needed to be done. It just took a few minutes and when we were done, I said, "So are you good now Booboo?", and he responded with "I'm good Booboo, thank you.".

WTH? I cannot believe that came out of my mouth!! I have no rational explanation for why I said it other than I was in a rush and, literally, was not thinking or paying attention. I gasped when it came out of my mouth. I'm so mad at myself!!!

On the plus side, I came back to a HUGE pay raise. I think maybe the full volume of what I do at the company was noticed in my absence...lol.

Congratulations on the raise, and at the Booboo exchange!

[Flight]

LOL, I think you've just got to call each other Booboo now
Congrats on the pay rise!!!

[kande50]

Congratulations on the raise, and at the Booboo exchange!

Well, you can always make it clear that this is not going to progress past the Booboo stage, but you may be stuck with the Booboos for now. Maybe if you start describing mistakes as booboos it'll die a natural death?

If you'd thought faster you could have said something like, "I can't believe I just called you Booboo, because I don't want you to call me Booboo and now I've just called you Booboo"! But of course, we seldom think of what we should have said until we have a chance to think about it.

[boots-aregard]

No.