Confidence

[Sunshine2Me]

I'm wondering how many of us riders deal with working through confidence issues. What caused your confidence issue? Age, a specific event, or ?

I had an accident about 2 years ago and broke three ribs. It was through no fault of my horse, just one of those things that happens. This past weekend was the first time I actually felt confident again. It was such a great feeling, I can't even describe it! And of course, since I was relaxed and confident, my horse was also. We trail rode on a new path (alone) and he was eager and forward, loving the new adventure, just like it had been in the past. I know my feelings were affecting and reflecting on him. I believe we've finally worked through it.

I DO believe I'm a much more cautious rider, however, than I used to be. I think that has come with age. Is that just how it works, you become more cautious with age? Is it because you've experienced more or seen more? I'm not sure. Just reflecting.

Thoughts!

[KathyK]

I remember so clearly how my confidence was damaged after my horse tripped while we were cantering and nearly went ass over teakettle. It took a while, like months, before I was able to canter without worrying about it.

I believe we do get more cautious with age and experience. I could not ride up to a four foot fence today, something I did frequently and with no fear once upon a time.

[Hayburner]

I have no reason for a lack of confidence other than AGE! and a new spooky, quick mare....LOL

Really, I think my defensiveness in driving my car and riding has come with age and menopause! UGH....I'm overly, overly defensive and I hate it.....

[Rockabilly]

I think as one grows older we have already experienced some of the "what if's" so we are well aware what it's about and it does make us more cautious.

[Chisamba]

I agree with Rockabilly and hayburner and Kathy K, i think age comes with wisdom that encouraged caution. however incidents also can impact confidence. Three events severely eroded my confidence. The first was when i was younger, i was riding a XC course, what would be considered preliminary level here, and there was a downhill to a trakehner ( huge log sideways over a ditch) as my horse took off for the jump his hind feet slipped out from under him and he hit the log with his chest and we did a flip. I landed in the ditch, some how, and he landed in the ditch on top of me. It took them a while to get a backhoe to lift the tree, and then to lift him. We were both okay, but for a while i could not feel my legs because Jennison was lying on my back, and i thought i was paralyzed. I had been paralyzed before, from the waist down, and had had a very difficult time returning from it, so this time when it happened again, ( or at least i thought i did) i went through all kinds of anxiety. It turns out that i was okay, Jennison was okay, and I mounted and rode back to the trailer, for the sake of confidence, having turned down the suggestion to be lifted to a hospital. I never was able to gallop an XC course again with the same sense of fearlessness, most particularly a ditch. I jumped ditches constantly, every chance i got, when hacking, when strolling, any time i was on an xc course, i would jump the ditch. i got better, but never completely.

The second was when i had my son. I felt the need to be alive to protect him, and almost immediately gave up on jumping anything that was bigger then three foot, although i did clear a couple higher, in a clinic but i never competed over a higher course again.

the third , most of you know about, was the fire, I was not even riding, but subsequent to the fire i had a moment of fear every time i rode. I think it took nearly three years to get past that to the point where i do not even think about it any more.

in each case, the way to regain confidence was simply by doing the thing that i feared, over and over, often enough that it became common place rather than something to fear.

[kande50]

I think that has come with age. Is that just how it works, you become more cautious with age? Is it because you've experienced more or seen more? I'm not sure. Just reflecting.

Thoughts!

I think it's because as the hormones decrease the drive to take risks also decreases.

It was likely an evolutionary advantage to take risks even though they didn't always work out, but then as we age the hormones that fuel that drive tapered off.

If I was more adventurous I'd go on hormone replacement therapy just to try it to see if it made any difference, but I've lost the drive to try it.

I haven't had any serious accidents in the last 20 years, so I can't blame my relatively recent acquisition of a set of brains on anything like that.

[PaulaO]

kande, HRT made no difference in my level of confidence. With or without it, I was just not confident on my horse Bob. I'm much more confident on Miss A., because she is/was a schoolie and trail pony, and therefore she's much less likely to lose her mind because there are violets on the path and those violets didn't used to be there.

S2me, I was also never a confident trail rider. Trail riding was part of my lesson as an adult program (I started riding when I was 27) and on my first trail ride, a dog ran out of the woods, my horse turned tail and ran towards 2 trees set about 4 feet apart. I have no idea how I stopped, but I'm pretty sure I just stopped shaking a few years ago. It traumatized me to the point I would cry if I even thought about going on trail.

I'm glad you feel better about it.

[kande50]

kande, HRT made no difference in my level of confidence. With or without it, I was just not confident on my horse Bob. I'm much more confident on Miss A., because she is/was a schoolie and trail pony, and therefore she's much less likely to lose her mind because there are violets on the path and those violets didn't used to be there.

The cocktail I hear the most about is Xanax to address the anxiety, and hrt to help hang on to as much physical fitness as possible? But those I know who take one or both no longer ride much, or at all, so they may work just fine for a short time, but don't seem to have a positive long term effect.

My horses agree that stuff appearing on the trail that wasn't there before is the worst. It was a tipped over sumac sticking out of the wood pile that was of the greatest concern last week, and a large fungus this week.

[PaulaO]

I was diagnosed with DCIS about 6 years ago, and the surgeon called me to say "as of today, you are off HRT." Talk about a black day--I have never felt good since then.

[kande50]

I was diagnosed with DCIS about 6 years ago, and the surgeon called me to say "as of today, you are off HRT." Talk about a black day--I have never felt good since then.

I've never tried hrt because I feel good and wouldn't want to risk messing that up to try to get more energy, and because the health findings came out before I started to take it so it seemed prudent to avoid it. Probably just as well that I never started, because it would be the pits to know that I would feel better if I took it, but that it was too risky.

[Imperini]

I was writing a long post and then I thought gosh, I have had a lot of really bad experiences, it's a wonder I still want to ride. I do still want to ride, but I am not as brave (read that as stupid) as I was when I was younger. Some experiences and/or falls have shaken my confidence like when I broke my arm coming off a horse I should have lunged before getting on but didn't because I was young and overconfident. Some are just funny like when the horse I currently ride spooked and spun but I didn't. He stopped as soon as I was off and looked at me like "OH! What are you doing down there?! I'm so sorry!" and then I got back on and had a great ride. I've also had some horses run away with me on trails so I find that I really don't enjoy going out of the arena much but I'm sure if I had a horse that liked it I could get over that too.

I think that all my bad experiences make me a more cautious rider as well as age. I am more careful about the decisions I make like lunging before I get on a horse that is normally quiet but seems just a teeny bit up that day which I think I would attribute to experiences, or being honest with myself about my abilities and the sort of horses I'm comfortable riding and that I would attribute to age. It's okay with me now that I am not comfortable getting on a spooky horse, or a horse with a buck, there are still lots of horses that fit within my comfort zone.

[Astral]

My turning point was after a car accident and a TBI - the neurologist pretty much said that my next concussion might be my last, so I'm much more careful. The resulting changes were hard enough to deal with, don't need anything to make it worse!

I also have confidence issues in other aspects of my life (plus depression and anxiety), and that probably carries over into my riding as well.

[exvet]

Well I can't say I have confidence 'issues'. I am confident of what I can and can't do. I use to climb on just about anything and didn't really worry about the outcome. I knew I would just deal with it. Now that I'm much older and have injuries (not all due to my riding history) I will back/start only those I've bred and put on the ground or those of very well known (to me) breeders (I.e, I've ridden much of their breeding stock). I am far more mindful of what situations I'm getting myself and my horse into as well and try to do everything that is in my power to have back up plans so that I am able to end up on a positive note. So, again, no real confidence issues. I am just more aware of my limitations and mortality. I still have a grin that goes from ear-to-ear when I jump and love riding out on my own with endless skies ahead or run into wildlife on the trail and look forward to starting my two year old next summer.

[Tarlo Farm]

Since breaking my leg last January, I am MUCH more cautious. So of which I attribute to age/wisdom/awareness, and some normal common sense and awareness of the leg still healing. I started driving slower years ago when gas hit $4/gallon.

[kande50]

Since breaking my leg last January, I am MUCH more cautious. So of which I attribute to age/wisdom/awareness, and some normal common sense and awareness of the leg still healing. I started driving slower years ago when gas hit $4/gallon.

When I think back, these changes probably started back in my 30's or 40's and then sped way up in my 50's. and are now careening along at warp speed. The difference in what I wanted to do in my early 60's and what I want to do now, in my mid-60's, would be alarming if I cared, but thankfully, the way it works is that the brain changes along with the body so it's all good.

Reminds me of when I was pg and became so calm and relaxed about everything, and then the baby came and all that calm flew right out the window!

I don't know if accidents and close calls speed up the changes or if age is the determining factor, but it seems to be a fairly consistent progression for most. Even the part when we're younger and think we'll still be riding like the wind when we're 90 seems to be consistent.

[Rockabilly]

now careening along at warp speed.






That would be time.

[piedmontfields]

It is interesting how confidence and wisdom are intersected. I would say that I have far more equestrian skills than 20 years ago, so yes, I am more confident because I trust my skills. However, I'm also more aware of how quickly things can go wrong and where that edge is for me and my horse. I don't pick fights and I aim for success--call that wisdom, call it confidence, call it learning

[kande50]

now careening along at warp speed.

That would be time.

Warp time?

[kande50]

It is interesting how confidence and wisdom are intersected. I would say that I have far more equestrian skills than 20 years ago, so yes, I am more confident because I trust my skills. However, I'm also more aware of how quickly things can go wrong and where that edge is for me and my horse. I don't pick fights and I aim for success--call that wisdom, call it confidence, call it learning

Apparently, I still don't have a lot of confidence in my ability to predict the future, because I wishy washied back and forth about how wise it was to get on my agitated mule right up until he calmed down (a half hour after I got on him). I did know that my chances were pretty good or I wouldn't have gotten on, but I also know how reactive he can get when he's scared so knew there was a much higher chance of things going bad than there usually is when I ride him.

[PaulaO]

Today was a lack,of confidence day. Huge show at the barn, lots of new horses, commotions. Miss A. started spinning the moment I got on. So I dismounted and we hand walked all over and I started in hand work with her in the bridle. Half halts to halts. She finally settled down enough that I could remount (with my trainer holding her so she didn't walk away) and I walked her in big circles both ways. Got her to do a stretchy walk. Worked on learning to stop straight and not turn towards me.

I guess it took confidence to remount. She is such a work in progress but those years of piddling around at First Level gave me a good foundation.