You have to laugh at dementia.

periastra
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You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby periastra » Thu Oct 22, 2015 10:33 pm

The Assisted Living I work at also has memory care specialty units, and lots of Residents with advanced dementia. One of our gentlemen was restless and needed a walk outside, so I took him to help the floor staff. We went for the 1/4 mile stroll around the facility that backs up to a neighborhood. My Resident saw a young man mowing his backyard , and this was the conversation that resulted:
Resident-"What are ya doing?" (yelled it)
Man-"Um, mowing the lawn."
Res- "How many ya got?"
Man-looking at his mower "Um, one." You can tell he is very uncomfortable, and I'm trying to get Res to come along.
Res-"what are you going to do about those dogs in the water?" There are no dogs around.
I am smiling and mouthing "sorry" as uncomfortable man slinks away to the front yard. Res calls out "and my delivery truck better be on time!", before he happily goes back to his unit for a two hour nap on the sofa.
My job is never dull. :mrgreen:

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby KathyK » Thu Oct 22, 2015 10:55 pm

I guess sometimes dementia does have its lighter moments.

periastra
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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby periastra » Fri Oct 23, 2015 12:57 am

It really does. And then sometimes you have to laugh or you would cry.

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chantal
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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby chantal » Fri Oct 23, 2015 10:59 am

You are awesome. Thank you for sharing.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby Kelo » Fri Oct 23, 2015 1:11 pm

chantal wrote:You are awesome. Thank you for sharing.


This :)

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby Chancellor » Fri Oct 23, 2015 1:29 pm

My grandfather used to call my dad to get a ride back to the base (he was in the army). I guess the "funny" part is that my grandfather was in the army well before my dad was born!
Unfortunately, he would sometimes call my dad at 2 in the morning to get a ride back to the base. Poor dad...getting awakened at 2 am for a call like that.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby Amado » Fri Oct 23, 2015 1:30 pm

chantal wrote:You are awesome. Thank you for sharing.


I agree.

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Chisamba
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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby Chisamba » Fri Oct 23, 2015 1:48 pm

it is best to find the humor!

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby Don Giovanni » Fri Oct 23, 2015 1:52 pm

You have to find the humour or you'd suffocate yourself with the grim realities of life.
My MIL lived eight hours away from us. Her daughter, Jane, was the only one of her (adult) children who lived in the same city, so the brunt of everything fell on her shoulders. Towards the end when MIL was really fading, Jane was there everyday, was still working as a teacher in an inner city school , etc. Things were starting to catch up to her...
One day she went in to see her mom and they were having a conversation when suddenly MIL looked at Jane and said "Have you seen Jane lately? She looks AWFUL!".
and periastra? You really are awesome. Thanks for what you do.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby KathyK » Fri Oct 23, 2015 2:43 pm

Don Giovanni wrote:You have to find the humour or you'd suffocate yourself with the grim realities of life.
My MIL lived eight hours away from us. Her daughter, Jane, was the only one of her (adult) children who lived in the same city, so the brunt of everything fell on her shoulders. Towards the end when MIL was really fading, Jane was there everyday, was still working as a teacher in an inner city school , etc. Things were starting to catch up to her...
One day she went in to see her mom and they were having a conversation when suddenly MIL looked at Jane and said "Have you seen Jane lately? She looks AWFUL!".
and periastra? You really are awesome. Thanks for what you do.

That story did make me laugh. :lol:

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby Abby Kogler » Fri Oct 23, 2015 3:22 pm

Yes, you can only laugh or you would just cry all the time.

My mom had Alz and it was brutal and heartbreaking. My dad remained in his own mind till his last breath at 89 and it was such a blessing. But he was in a care facility for about a year after he broke his hip and had a long recovery/rehab. There were some dementia patients in the same facility. Being this area there were several retired military, in fact Dad met fellow pilots/officers from his squadrons years ago, so that was great. Anyway, one of the residents was a retired enlisted man my dads age who called my dad Admiral (which he was not!). Dad and I would be sitting in his room and Mr. Fred would wheel in in his wheelchair, saluting, Good morning Admiral! Im here for the marketing meeting! Dad would salute back and say Thank you Sargent! I have sent a memo that the meeting is canceled, will you please let the others know? Yes Sir! Thank you Sir! And off he would wheel. It would happen several times a day. Mr Fred was always happy, always funny, so it was wistful, sad, sweet. His wife came every day and we would laugh, but it was sad. My sister and I still say, when we are confused or have done something silly, Admiral! We're here for the marketing meeting!

Ah well. Bless you for your work there.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby texsuze » Fri Oct 23, 2015 5:08 pm

Dad had Alzheimer's and passed away in February 2014. He was living in a memory-care center and still showed some funny glimpses of humor from time to time.

The kitchen area of the center had a short, swing-door that was kept latched so the folks could not get into the kitchen. Dad, being the consummate handy-man, one day managed to unlatch this kitchen door, and one of the staff caught him raiding the 'cookie jar'. Dad was apparently scurrying away, cookies stuffed into his mouth, cookies in each hand. He, like me, loved cookies :)

I continue to try to remember those times, when the essence of his real personality was there.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby Sunshine2Me » Fri Oct 23, 2015 6:27 pm

Currently living with dementia via my mother. It is a nightmare and I struggle to find any laughable moments. :(

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby AirsAboveNC » Sat Oct 24, 2015 1:28 am

I work in a SNF and we see our share of it. It can be very funny at times, and very sad at others.

Sunshine2Me, I sympathize with you. It is far more difficult when it is your own loved one, than it is when you're a healthcare worker.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby bailey » Sat Oct 24, 2015 2:38 am

My dad also has some dementia, he's very good at hiding it but his memory is really shot....he tells the same stories over and over again.... It's funny at times and like others, heart breaking too. I miss my dad! Now that I think about it, it's like riding, it makes me be patient and each day I have to see 'what dad I have' today, kinda like my horse. Hate to say it, my horse is better, more consistent. I raise a glass to toast and thank everyone caring for those with dementia and altered thinking...it's not easy!

The calmer I am, the stronger I am.

periastra
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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby periastra » Sat Oct 24, 2015 5:27 pm

Thanks to everyone for the kind words. It is easy for me to do my job, because I really love these guys. Our memory care unit is a fun place to be for staff and Residents. The caregivers that work there treat the Residents like family. I see hugs and " I love you's" daily. Every one functions around the same cognitive level, so the activities are child like. We have coloring, dress up, play beauty shop , play in tents, sing songs, play records and make cookies and popcorn. It's like geriatric Romper Room. I'm sad that it's too windy and cool now for our weekly patio picnic. Whenever i have down time from my administrative duties i love to hang out.
I agree that it is easier for staff than for families. Our shifts end, and we don't carry the personal feelings of guilt and loss. We do all mourn when we loose a Resident though. I lost my favorite Granny to Alzhiemers at age 97. I still miss Gigi all the time.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby snftrs2 » Sat Oct 24, 2015 7:10 pm

I love that your gentleman was enjoying his walk and kudos to you for knowing what he needed that day. Hopefully lawnmower guy will get more used to the next door neighbors and have some fun chatting with them.

I've got relatives with dementia and my fav was when my sister called me and said mom was asking for the 'de-smeller thing'. We finally figured out that she meant deodorant :-) Sigh, it's such a tough disease. Sometimes the humor only shows itself in hindsight.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby stella » Sat Oct 24, 2015 7:50 pm

My mom in the ICU after her aneurysm: Look at all of these little girls carrying buildings!

I hope I say things that are as non-damaging as that.

periastra
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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby periastra » Sat Oct 24, 2015 8:20 pm

Had this conversation with one of my female Residents.
Me- What should we have for lunch?
Res- Toenails.
Me- Toenails? Where would we get those?
Res- The little zeekers.
Me- I've never heard of them.
Res- They come in cans.
My staff and I still laugh that we're having Little Zeekers Brand canned toenails for lunch. YUM! :)
Love the little girls carrying buildings Stella.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby Koolkat » Sat Oct 24, 2015 8:34 pm

My Dad came out to visit (his last time away) and had suffered from Parkinson's for 15+ years. He was still mobile, but his cognitive functions were relatively low and his meds also muddled his mind.

One morning he asked me if I knew about the 2 Korean boys who lived in the bathroom. I was caught somewhat off guard by this! And said, "Well, no I didn't know about them". He responded to my surprise by saying (a WWII vet), "Well, don't worry, they're South Korean". :lol:

Later in the visit, my purse disappeared. I looked for hours before finding it in the guest bedroom, hidden under something. I asked Dad what it was doing there, and he replied, "I was hiding it from the Koreans". Gads. At one point between those 2 events, he looked me dead in the eye with his previous intellectual intenseness and said, "I don't know if I've mentioned this to you, by the meds cause me to hallucinate". I wish I had thought to ask him if he was cognizant of hallucinating while it was happening or remembered any of it, but I was too busy coping with his changes. My father, unfortunately, suffered greatly at the hands of my mother (she was letting him starve to death) before he was rescued and put in a nursing home. When he died there, one of the caretakers told me that he had always held a special place in their heart for his sweetness and how he had come to them. I am forever grateful.

periastra
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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby periastra » Sat Oct 24, 2015 8:40 pm

My BFF'S Dad died of Parkinsons and also had very vivid halicinations. He saw lots of cats in his room. He also thought he was involved in espionage. He was always a huge 007 fan.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby snftrs2 » Sat Oct 24, 2015 9:03 pm

KoolKat - your dad stories made me laugh aloud!! Isn't it amazing how there are moments of crystal clear lucidity mixed into the craziness? Your dad sounded like a wonderful person.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby Moutaineer » Sun Oct 25, 2015 12:39 am

My grandmother, an avid cook and gardener, grasped me by the hand when she was in hospital after her first stroke, and said to me very earnestly, "I have to get home and plant the beef casseroles before the weather changes!"

Dementia made her frightened and violent. A sad end to a fascinating and vibrant, if very outspoken, lady.

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Re: You have to laugh at dementia.

Postby heddylamar » Sun Oct 25, 2015 12:52 am

I live 2500 miles away from my grandparents, so visits are few and far between.

Grampy had just been moved into a memory care unit, and my first stop in town was him. Amidst reminiscences I recognized, though some were garbled, he told me in vivid detail of a film crew who were secretly filming in the canyon. Apparently he came across the while they were stalking a young woman. He asked them what they were doing, and they told him about the film project. A few days later, one of the guys knocks on the door asking to use the phone. There had been a gnarly car accident (actually happened).

I was a bit freaked out, then annoyed no one thought to warn me! Local family thought it was product of a dream, interwoven with truth. He'd always had very vivid dreams, and a great ability to put them into words.

<<hugs>> Sunshine


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