Question for those mid-40s and older.

[Mareless]

Okay, ladies, I'm looking for some insights, opinions and experiences in regards to being over 40. I am 45 and went for my yearly physical earlier this week and came away feeling like I'm getting the brush-off with some health concerns I brought up.

In the last year and a half or so, I've noticed that I don't seem to have the strength or stamina I used to have. I've worked in barns most of my life, including the last 16 years straight. I'm used to physical labor. I have been working the same amount (3-5 hrs a day, 5 days a week) and actually riding more in the last year, but I get tired easier, struggle with carrying 40 pounds or so when anything less than 70 pounds used to be not a huge effort, I feel physically and mentally wiped out many days after a morning of work, I have trouble with regulating my body temp (I've always gotten cold easily but in the last year heat/humidity aren't tolerated well), etc. Also, despite no real change in diet and doing hours of manual labor daily (plus riding 3-4 times a week compared to 1-2 times a month) I have gained around 20 pounds in the past 12 months.

I mentioned all these things plus more that seem insignificant until you look at the long list of them and that some have been going on for nearly 20 years now.

The Dr basically said "well, you're a woman in your mid 40s, some weight gain is normal. Your metabolism isn't the same as in your twenties and you can't expect to be able to do the same stuff you used to". Also dismissed my concerns about marked loss of energy and strength in the past year.

So, I'm asking for personal experiences here. Is it 'normal' for women with active lifestyles like us horse girls to just rapidly gain weight and lose strength markedly once we get over 40?

I feel like what I'm going through is not quite normal. It sure doesn't feel normal compared to how my body worked the first 40 years. (And no, menopause doesn't seem to be near; my cycle is still regular if heavier the last 3-4 years).

[StraightForward]

I'm not quite there yet (turning 40 this fall!), but Louis CK has a bit about this (NSFW) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ey4WSb-BVDQ

Sorry, that's not helpful, but hopefully it will at least give you a laugh.

[Literiding]

I'm a guy but I discovered that aging is a logarithmic "degression."

In my 40's, I'd come home from my paying job and work two or three hours on the farm, grab a bite to eat and then work two horses.

In my 50's, I'd come home from work and would have to decide to either work the horses or work on the farm but not both on the same day.

In my 60's, I come home from work and feed the horses and go to bed. Had to retire at 62 to spend some time with my horses.

Also remember, modern medicine doesn't respond to "I don't feel right."

You have to have specific symptoms that point to specific tests. If the tests come back negative, there's nothing wrong with you. A MD's PHD doesn't mean the doctor can think, but can apply a specific protocol to a given set of symptoms.

[PaulaO]

I went through the same thing and I'm 59. I tire easier, I can lift though, but am ready to go to bed at 8:30. Gained 20 pounds. Went to the doctor and he did a complete blood workup and physical. All numbers are normal; in fact, my blood glucose was down from last year. Bottom line--I'm older, slower metabolism, and can't eat what I used to eat or I'll gain weight.

Getting older sucks.

[Sue B]

Mareless, I am in my mid-50's, had a baby when I was 41, a complete hysterectomy at 43 and did not suffer weight gain until 2 years ago when I got lazy. My sil, otoh, is in her mid-40's, struggled with weight gain and increasing exercise intolerence. In 2015 her daughter's baby boy died at age 4mos (their first grandchild), then her father died the day before Thanksgiving. By Christmas, she could barely walk around the block without gasping for air and she had trouble sleeping at night. Her dimwit doctor kept telling her it was hysteria/anxiety and SHE prescribed all kinds of drugs. She did order routine blood work and a stress test but didn't bother to look at the results. My poor sil was told that triglycerides of 400 was NORMAL and that lasting only 2 minutes on the treadmill stress test was NORMAL!!! Family finally got a referral to a real cardiologist who promptly hospitalized her and wound up putting in 2 stents, one coronary artery was 99% blocked.

I tell you this because, yes, your doctor is giving you the brush off and you need to demand referral. Heart disease, heart failure and heart attack peak during menopause years, women exhibit signs of exhaustion and lethargy instead of the classic left arm pain. Most likely it isn't your heart, but maybe it's your thyroid or adrenal glands (look up Cushing's disease). At any rate, the fact that you are concerned is enough to get a second, third or even 4th opinion. Whenever my doc even gets a whiff of something being up she refers, so that when I may have had a TIA, I had to see both a cardiologist and a neurologist, all booked within 48hrs! If I were to share the history with her that you just gave us, she would insist on a thorough workup.

[kande50]

It seems to be a common question, "Is what I'm experiencing normal, or do I have some kind of a treatable condition?"

The reason I haven't tried to answer that particular question myself is because I have a strong suspicion that any tests would come back negative and then I'd have to decide whether to do more tests, how many to do, and how long to keep trying to find something to treat? So I decided to just wait until I had symptoms other than fatigue.

That said, I didn't really notice any particular decrease in energy levels or calorie intake when I was in my 40's, although looking back the decline was probably steady during that time, but just started progressing a lot faster after menopause.

[Minz]

About 6mos before I turned 40 I started to have back pain, and everyone said "welcome to your 40's". After a couple of weeks I went to see my GP who ordered X-rays. They showed nothing. When the pain continued, about 6 weeks later she odered a bone scan. Nothing. By my birthday I couldn't stand upright. Emergency CT scan showed no T7 vertebrae. It had been eaten away by cancer.
Moral of the story, You are your own best health advocate. If you think that your symptoms are not normal, keep repeating it to any and all medical professionals until they listen. I would say that 20lbs in 12 months for no reason isn't normal. Your metabolism slows down after 40, but the average is 2-3 lbs a year, not a month. Keep asking the questions until you get answers that make sense. Just because the diagnostics don't show anything, it doesn't mean there isn't something going on. Good luck, and stay strong. You will need it to fight with the medical system.

[Tabby]

I board my horse and work and office job so I generally live a pretty sheltered life, physically speaking. I noticed my lack of physical capability a few years ago - about age 45. I'm approaching 50 now and I'm honestly considering joining a gym of all things. I hate regimented exercise and loved the workouts I got from working with my horse and just general life stuff. But I'm breaking down faster than I could ever imagine and I can even remember my mom complaining about her knees (at what probably is my current age) and she's got 2 artificial knees know. I'm turning into her even though I thought I was so much better because I did this and that.

We all get old - I understand that. But the reality of it really really sucks. I don't have any advice, only sympathy. Add the physical limitations to what they call "perimenopause" and I call "hell" and life sucks. Except that I have people who love me and I'm safe and comfortable and suddenly all things are in perspective. But I would love to have my 20 year old body back.

[Quelah]

Getting older is not for sissies. I'm pretty much exactly where you are, 45 years old and 20 lbs exactly in the last year . Caveat, I have MS and I broke my back rather badly 11 years ago. I live on a small farm/ranch and do the bulk of daily labor for 5 horses myself. But yeah, 15 years ago I managed a barn of ~30 show horses, now I'm kinda wiped if I do full justice to all five of mine in a day.

It is what it is,but I'll say soldier on and find a doc you have confidence in. I just recently for the first time in my adult life got myself a primary care doc that I click with and have confidence in. It's a very comforting feeling

[Moutaineer]

55 here. I was one of those young women who could eat anything, do no exercise, and not put on an ounce. Hah. Not any more. I'm not fat, but I've got a spongey covering all over that I never used to have.

I've been on low dose hormone therapy for 35 years, so other than the weight gain, and some night sweats, I don't suffer from much in the way of menopausal symptoms (I tried going off it, it wasn't a success. For me the benefits of being able to live a normal life outweigh the risks, so here I am...)

My lower back is a mess. I had a couple of steroid shots in it a couple of years ago which quietened things down quite a bit, and Laddie is much narrower than Walker so my hips and back don't get so stressed, which has been a major help. I get through a lot of ibuprofen.

I have three horses at home and one that I board, so I have daily barn chores and I ride seriously 4 or 5 times a week. I work full time in quite a stressful job--I seem to spend my work life either in the car or sitting at my desk, which is a killer. I consider myself to be actually in reasonable shape, and my dressage trainer thinks I am pretty darned fit "for someone of my age." (Bah!)

But I just get so tired and sore by the end of the day. Maybe if I exercised more it might help, but I haven't got any more energy to give.

I understand your frustration. I have a persistent, nagging medical issue that I can't get a sensible answer to. I've been to all kinds of practitioners and have been largely blown off by them. I need to get back on it, I guess, but it is disheartening.

[Josette]

I agree you definitely have to be your own advocate about your healthcare. I hope your doctor included blood work in your physical including a CBC, Chemistry profile and Thyroid profile. This basic information will at least provide a baseline and help if any out of range values show. Don't be afraid to get pushy when asking questions. Some doctors are rushed to see so many patients per day, etc. that they may not give you their full attention during your allotted appointment.

[no.stirrups]

I fired a doctor a few years ago for blowing off similar issues, and I have not regretted it for an instant. Definitely push. You are the only advocate you can count on. If your doc still declines to take you seriously, get a new one who will.

[Chisamba]

No desire to cause a train wreck, but loss of energy and weight gain and temperature intolerance can be hypothyroidism

[fergusnc]

45 now. In my physical at 43 with GP (I am bad abt yearly physicals with GP, but always go to the gynecologist yearly) I mentioned less energy, weight gain, some other random things. Had lost both parents in a few years, heart disease on both sides. He told me it was probably age related, he is same age as I am and shared some personal stories including hearing hoof beats and thinking zebras, but said he wanted to do tests anyway to be sure. He wondered about thyroid. All tests came back fine. And I really do think my minor things are just aging, but I thought it was best to ask. All that to say, my doc has always been one to check things "even the ugh it's probably nothing and could be all these simple things, but let's be sure". I like that in a doc.

[Koolkat]

I think everyone's genetic makeup is going to color how they relate to this query. . .

That being said, I think Tabby's comments about exercise/gym are good ones. As counterintuitive as it may seem with the physical activity with the horses, you may find that cardiovascular work will increase your energy level. At least that has been my experience.

Age related decline is inevitable, but you can slow it down. Push back and fight it!!

And get a 2nd opinion if you are concerned.

[Kyra's Mom]

I agree with Chisamba...pretty classic for hypothyroidism. I was diagnosed in my 40's. Once that was lined out, I have been able to lose weight despite menopause. I'm not sure my strength returned to my early 40's level but my energy is much improved. Once you get older, you have to work smarter . I use lots of 'helpers' (like hand carts and wheelbarrows instead of lifting and carrying) these days.

But yeah...aging sucks. 4 years ago at 58, I was riding/training second and third level. I took the winter off for a couple surgeries and I have never been able to return to that level of fitness...I think it may be gone . I had a hysterectomy. Easy recovery. Then I had foot surgery to repair some torn tendons. While I was rehabbing my foot, my hip started bothering me badly so in 2015... hip replacement. Hip surgery was very successful then last year, a chronic tailbone problem flared and some days could not even sit on my horse. Seems I am falling apart, one piece at a time. It takes more work to maintain fitness and strength as you age. I am having surgery next month to address the tailbone problem. I am NOT looking forward to that but it is very limiting for my life in general. I hope once I can actually sit somewhat normally (which may take up to 1-2 years ), I am hoping I can gently, but energetically get back to life...please.

Susan

[Chancellor]

No desire to cause a train wreck, but loss of energy and weight gain and temperature intolerance can be hypothyroidism

It only causes train wrecks when EVERYTHING is caused by hypothyroidism! In this case, I would agree.

[Fatcat]

In my 40s I started to gain weight (which is the opposite of my normal on the thin side build), and was exhausted all the time. I had already been diagnosed with mild hypothyroidism and was on meds and being regularly monitored. I couldn't get my GP to pay any attention, he brushed it off as normal for a woman in their 40s and tried to prescribe me an antidepressant instead of doing any diagnosing. Then everything crashed about 7 years ago, and after much doctor shopping to get a diagnosis, we ended up at the Mayo Clinic where I was diagnosed with Celiacs. Changed my diet and gradually started getting better. I also changed my doctor 7 years ago, to a GP who is also a Functional Medicine doc. He's great, and I'm getting better all the time!

[Racetrackreject]

I'm in my 40s as well, and I gained a fair amount of weight while still getting what had previously been enough exercise through working on the farm, taking care of the horses, running, etc. I had a friend who is a big gym goer tell me that I probably needed to start doing work with weights, so I tried it . Eureka! I lost a ton of weight (wearing size 6 jeans today, but typically more of a size 8 now), regained my strength, and built up more energy.

My gym friend explained that typically, beginning in their 30s, women need to do more than cardio and going through the motions type exercises. He says it's harder for us to build and maintain muscle needed for strength and stamina as we get older, so we need to do weight training to keep up our fitness. I'll admit, I drank the koolaid because it's working so well for me.

ETA: I had already changed my diet to be low carb, high proteins, and good fats, which made me feel so much better.

[PaulaO]

Two years ago I started working with a personal trainer. We do a strength session on Wednesday, and I do the session alone two other days. Without changing my eating habits, I've gained 15 pounds since then, but no inches, just added fat. I definitely am stronger and have better stamina, but exercise alone isn't enough for me.

[calvin]

My doctor said that some of her healthiest patients are in their mid-late 50's and even 60's. She said that at this stage in life , women finally have the time to make themselves a priority. At every other stage in life, someone else or something else (children, parents, career, etc.) seem to take over. But women in their mid-late 50's and 60's know that they must work out, do yoga, meditate, and be physically active to make one's body work better. At this age, women eat with more knowledge and intention. It is not just a matter of ingesting whatever is at hand because that is all you have time for. Children, if there are children, are *crossing fingers* living independently. You know who you are, what matters, and realize that life is not a "given".

Yes, sometimes, aging is a "challenge". I prefer to think of it as a "challenge" rather than "aging sucks" because it is the alternative - or chronic poor health or illness - which is hard. At this age, 60's, I have lost younger and much younger friends, and have friends who have lost children. Those are the really, really hard things.

Yes, I do not get up from my knees so quickly now. I just think I am lucky to be here at all, to be able to ride, garden, golf, have great friends, and generally enjoy life. The twinges and minor discomforts that come with aging are simply that. Minor. I weigh more than I should. I work out regularly with a personal trainer. I am hopelessly optimistic that my best days in terms of weight, strength and physique lie ahead of me. I can still dream!

You know YOUR body. You are getting a brush-off from your physician. The symptoms you mentioned are not my experience of aging. Seek another opinion (or more opinions, if necessary). Have tests run. Be your own advocate.

[Mareless]

Thanks, everyone, for your replies.

For those who mentioned having my thyroid checked, that is the request I made and was told "well, your blood work last year looked normal". I did push for more than just the TSH, and asked about a referral to an endocrinologist for more in depth testing, because I have a bunch of stuff that, looked at individually is just a "huh, we don't know why you are experiencing that, don't worry it's not a big deal" but when listed out is around 30 different things, some of which began about 20 years ago. In the last two years, the list has been growing more rapidly; and the latest addition: high blood pressure and rapid resting pulse rate. Now, I don't want to take pills for anemia, high blood pressure, female flow issues (probably the reason for the anemia that sprung up a few months after I started having heavier periods), depression, etc., if it all boils down to thyroid and can be addressed with one pill (and one set of side effects).

I wasn't this way (fatigue, lack of strength, female issues, doldrums, etc) when I had four little kids at home and a husband who's job had him traveling about 2 weeks a month for 8 months of the year. So I'm not quite buying the "oh, you're 45" as the reason for my health issues now that all my kids are grown, my nest is empty, and dh travels much less (thus is around to help me with household and daily life more). I've been following dr's orders on the anemia for nearly two years without much change in energy level, but the added issue of stomach and intestinal problems from the iron (let's just say constipation has not been a problem here) . From past negative experiences with birth control while trying to space my kids, I'm not going to agree to take hormones to deal with the flow/anemia there; I reacted horribly to Depo, less so with the pill (but breast cancer is prevalent in my mother-line so no estrogen therapy for me, thanks). And I'm not about to just go on blood pressure meds without looking for a clear reason why--with a diet of mainly home grown and from scratch foods, and I hate salty food--my bp has gone from low-normal all my life to high-normal in 2015 and just plain high now.

Sorry if this post has turned into a rant. It is certainly not aimed at any of you, just my frustration with the doctor (who is new because my other one left; the office gets residents on a regular basis so it is really difficult to see the same dr for years and years.) I go back later this week to go over the results of the blood work than was done last week and am going to insist, if everything is still in the 'normal' range, to see an endocrinologist. I suspect that I was more on the hyperthyroid end of normal when I was younger and now am declining through normal toward being hypothyroid. Which would make my generic thyroid level look fine but still be not right for me. I want to have the whole gamut of thyroid testing done, which so far the regular family dr has balked at.

[Josette]

Mareless - you have every right to vent. There are others who have similar stories getting the run around with healthcare issues. A few years ago, I met a great nutritionist (also a chiropractor) giving presentations on various health problems/management/recovery etc. She orders more extensive labs then my GP and dx my hypothyroid issues. I was then able to get a prescription from my GP with proof of lab report. There are other doctors out there - find one who will listen to you.

[WheresMyWhite]

Mareless, I would agree with everyone above. You are entitled to vent as long as you remember that venting here doesn't fix the problem (other than helping you get rid of the frustration)

You are your own best medical advocate; never forget that. If you are not happy with a health care provider, find a new one. Lather, rinse, repeat until you are comfortable you are getting the level of care you want and expect.

I now look only for DOs as my PCPs as I personally feel they are more willing to take a more "holistic" and overall view of my health rather than address point problems. My last PCP was my PCP for probably over 15 years. Only reason I left (and it broke my heart) is I moved out of town.

High blood pressure - get that addressed NOW. If you need to take medication, do it. If you have a family history of HBP, you may be pre-disposed to it. I have no idea if hypothyroidism can cause it. In my case, I have it in my family history. Of all my health issues, BP fortunately is not one of them... well controlled with meds.

[westisbest]

I'm 68 and I havent lost strength just stamina. Two summers ago I took a job doing landscapiing/gardening at a huge race horse facility. Damn near killed me doing manual labour 8 hours a day 6 days a week but after a month I adjusted. Was asleep by 9 pm up at 5 am. Now I help with chores at our private barn, I can lift a full muck bucket and heave into the dumpster, lift hay bales light compressed ones about 45 lbs. I just have one horse ride 4-5 x a week. I have regular blood work never had a thyroid problem but I have gained weight altho I pretty much eat what I want. Always was a skinny fit strong person. I would KILL to go on low dose hormones again but you have to go to a private practioner here for testing etc.. that would cost about $1500.00. I have never felt as good since coming off them in my mid-50's. The biggest thing I see is that I need a lot more sleep. In my mid-40's I had a full time job, went and rode 2 horses way out in the country every night, never felt tired, only slept about 6 hours a night.. Now I need 8 solid hours if I get short changed I get cranky and depressed. Then have to sleep 10 hours to recharge.

[Bogey2]

I was fine until I turned 56, for some reason it's harder to keep the weight off and it's not because of activity, I get plenty of that! It's now more what I eat.

[LeoApp]

Your weight is affected by your diet about 80%. 20% exercise.
From what I have read, if you keep up with weights you should have the same muscle mass as you get older as you did when you were in your 30ies. You really have to work at it though, or you will lose it.
Gaining 20 pounds in a short amount of time would definitely be a red flag IMO.

[texsuze]

Mareless, if you get some medical tests done, and feel like sharing here, it would be good follow-up. Might even help someone else in your shoes who reads your posts. Hope things get sorted out for you soon.

[Quelah]

"
I now look only for DOs as my PCPs as I personally feel they are more willing to take a more "holistic" and overall view of my health rather than address point problems."

I don't seek out holistic leaning people but by pure coincidence my new PCP is a DO ( First time in my adult life I've had a PCP! ) and I *love* her! First GP human doc I've ever gelled with the way I ususlly do with veterinarians LOL!

[WheresMyWhite]

Quelah, sometimes I think "holistic" is an overused word but I think DOs are just trained more in looking at the overall body and treating the person rather than just the body part being complained about

Maybe "organic" is a better word?

I used to think DOs were too touchy-feely for me until I started seeing my previous one. When I moved, I purposely looked for a DO rather than MD for my PCP.

[Saddlebum]

A Naturalpath is another way to treat wholistically. Diet, mineral supplementation, etc. is what they are especially good at in evaluating you. You never know, you may be low in copper, iron, etc.

I'm hypothyroid, Hashimoto's diagnosised by an endo. I changed my diet by getting rid of sugar and glutton for more than 2 years and I was able to cut my thryoid pill in half. Job changes and could not stay on the diet. Still at the lower dose.

Thyroid test results vary depending on the lab the doctor uses. Some labs are using the more up-to-date parameters. The normal range is much tighter now. Many labs are not and staying with the old protocols. Very large range for normal.

My lab results ALWAYS were at the bottom of the low side for normal and my doc would NOT raise my dose. I felt like I was dragging around a bowling ball all the time. Finally, I switched to a nurse praticitioner who worked with me and she raised my dose up until my lab results showed me just above the middle of the normal range. WOW, I felt so much better. More energy (not a lot but good honest energy) thinking was clearer, just better.

Now, where I was at originally for more than 10 years in the range (lowest end of normal but still, in the norm) by current paramaters, that is no longer considered in the normal range but hypothyroid (only endos and certain labs use the newest range).

63 yo turning 64 soon. Feeling good.

Jingles being sent to you that you are on the path to wellness!