Jingles for my dad

[khall]

For a peaceful passing.

My dad is 82 with a laundry list of health issues from heart to COPD to dementia to low BP and other exacerbating problems. He has had two hospital stays in the last month, we are not doing that anymore. We've called in hospice for help, have full time sitters here (they are a life saver) and we are in limbo. Yesterday I thought he was going, having a very difficult time breathing and his BP was 58/42. He has rallied today with some mental clarity, but still easily winded. Yesterday most of the family came and we hung out with him for the day. We are taking it day by day, but I am not going far from the farm. Not easy to see your father struggling with his breathing or to see how weak he is now. It's an emotional roller coaster.

[Tarlo Farm]

Oh geez, my mom had congestive heart failure. Similar issues. I'm so sorry, I will think good thoughts for you all and hope for a passing with as much dignity as can be mustered. {{{{khall}}}}

[Hayburner]

Your in my thoughts , it is a very emotionally hard place to be in.

[Moutaineer]

I'm sorry. I've been there too. Wishing him, and you, peace.

[StraightForward]

I am sorry to hear that. Jingles for all of your family.

[piedmontfields]

Thinking of you and your family, and sending peace.

[Chisamba]

Jingles for your Dad, you, and everyone . Peace to you all

[fergusnc]

Jingles, thoughts, prayers, peace for you, your Dad and all who love him. I'm so sorry for your pain...yes, it is truly not easy, and is one big roller coaster. Many hugs.

[Wicky]

I'm so sorry. So many of us have gone through this.
{{{{khall}}}}

[KathyK]

I'm so sorry. So many of us have gone through this.
{{{{khall}}}}

Yes, we have, and we understand how hard it is. You and your family are in my thoughts.

[Srhorselady]

We had similar medical issues with my father almost three years ago. You have all my sympathy as you go through this difficult time. Take care of yourself and your family. Lots and lots of hugs and hand holding.

[Koolkat]

Many condolences to you and your family and prayers for a peaceful passing for your father. I felt so lucky to make it to my Dad's bedside before he died, flying from Seattle to Memphis. I had the opportunity to thank him for the very special things he did for me as a child (going to the library every Thursday night, taking us hiking every Sunday, letting me get a horse as a teenager), which truly influenced me for life (to this day) and were great gifts.

Blessed be the Dads.

[PaulaO]

You, your family, and your dad are on my prayer list.

[exvet]

I'm so sorry khall. I do completely understand the roller coaster ride you're going through from the stress and sadness to the relief that their suffering is done. The hardest part for us was that we were continuously told different things by the hospice nurses in regards to my father's condition and their anticipation for when it would be time. I watched my mother go through unnecessary moments of hope (that he was improving) because of a well meaning nurse (first job upon graduation, hospice nurse) who had her order him a special chair thinking that he was going to 'make it' after 2 1/2 weeks in hospice only for him to start to die 2 days after it was delivered. I was driving my mother daily after work and on my days off to the memory care center where he was staying. I walked in and saw my father and pointed out to my mother how I knew his time was ending and likely he would be gone (was hoping for the sooner) in 12-24 hours. My mother didn't believe me and went home only to get a call a few hours later that he had passed. Fortunately the location of the facility was within minutes of my mother's house and we both had our opportunity to say good bye and thank him for all that he had done and just for being him. Hugs to you and your family as well as prayers for a peaceful passing.

[Sue B]

(((((khall))))...and prayers for a peaceful passing.

[Kirby's Keeper]

Khall, I remember going through all of that with my husband. The waiting is very difficult for all involved. (((HUGS to you all.)))

[heddylamar]

Hugs to you, Khall. I hope it's peaceful and uneventful.

[Kyra's Mom]

It's an emotional roller coaster.

This is so right. You and your family have my jingles and prayers.

Susan

[khall]

I appreciate the thoughts and well wishes for my dad. Unfortunately they are not working for him to have a peaceful passing. Last week he started having swallowing issues off and on culminating Sunday in not being able to swallow anything at all. So we discharged him from home hospice and took him to the ER. 11 hours and 2 ERs later he was admitted so he could be scoped the following day. Dad had had an esophageal wrap done over 20 yrs ago and we thought it was tightening down. The gastro doctor found though little in the scope but ended up stretching it anyway and allowing him a liquid diet that night which promptly came back up. They did a swallow test the next day and found he is suffering from dis motility of the esophagus. There is no treatment medically, he would require a peg tube to be placed surgically which dad has an advanced directive against. With such major surgery we don't think he would do well with all of his other issues (a fib, congestive heart failure, dementia, throws PEs, COPD). Yesterday was a horrible day with him fighting to get out of bed only to fall out within steps. It was taking both the sitter and I to handle him. Today, we saw periods of lucidity but mostly not making much sense. He does know my sister and I and God is it horrifying to have to watch your father struggle, asking for water (we did end up giving him some sips though he is at risk for aspiration and it is against doctors orders) feeling bad and being lucid enough to vocalize it (his heart rate is so high along with elevated BP, not eating or drinking). Morphine for his pain (has had neck pain off and on and headache) and haldol to prevent the hallucinations stemming from the dementia help some but not enough. This is the worst experience my sister and I have ever had to face. Many tears are being shed and such a helpless feeling for us all. He will be admitted into hospice in the hospital tomorrow we hope (there are so many fricking hoops to jump through it's ridiculous) and hope they can maintain him more comfortably i.e. keep him knocked out as he passes from dehydration and starvation. What we are witnessing is just barbaric and it is a struggle to keep from running from his room screaming I don't want to have to do this anymore.

[Moutaineer]

I'm so sorry, Khall. I have nothing to offer but my deepest sympathy.

[Anne]

Dear Khall, many thoughts and hugs to you and your family. What you are going through is extremely distressing and difficult, and I wish you strength and courage. The Maori phrase is 'kia kaha' ('be strong').

[heddylamar]

I am so sorry Khall. Lots of love, hugs, sympathy, tears, and commiseration.

I've been thinking so many positive thoughts for you. My father's been in similar straits for the past 3 years, although not as dire at the moment, and it is so damn hard to watch.

I hope hospice works perfectly and your father is finally comfortable <3

[fergusnc]

Oh khall, I am just so very sorry that all of you are enduring all aspects of this. No words, many gentle hugs, and prayers for a quick passing. Thank you for sharing with us.

[exvet]

Yes, khall, it is one of the worst things one has to witness imo. I am very sorry your family, any family, must experience this. As a veterinarian I have very strong opinions on this sort of thing. It took a few days but my father finally slipped into a comatose state. It then took a couple of additional days after that.

[Josette]

Khall - I am so sorry your father, you and your sister are in this situation. I'm following close behind you with my mother age 93 - she will be transported to a LTC facility tomorrow. The stress and exhaustion for everyone is over whelming some days. Wishing you strength and peace in the days ahead.

[KathyK]

I'm so very sorry, khall. I'm glad, though, that you and your sister have each other to hang onto during this devastatingly difficult time.

[VBOpie]

I just want to say that I am so, so sorry that all of you are going through this. Thoughts and prayers your way.

[Flight]

I'm so sorry Khall, what a horrible situation for all of you. Hoping your dad gets into the hospice and receives good care.

[Kelo]

I am so sorry, Khall, great big giant hugs for you, your dad and your family.

Prayers as you trudge down this incredibly difficult path.

[texsuze]

Hugs and jingles to you and your family. Six years ago this month I went through very much the same situation with my dad. Helpless is the only word I can find to describe how I felt. Seems all dad's wishes, directives, etc. for his passing were thrown out the window. Just prolonging the inevitable. Gut wrenching feeling. I hope you have support from your family when dealing with the doctors, etc. At some point there will be peace.

[khall]

My Dad passed away yesterday here at home. After speaking with hospital hospice we determined it was best for dad and our family to bring him home and continue on home hospice. He came home Thursday by ambulance and had some strength Friday morning, kind of his last hurrah. He had popsicles and ice cream for breakfast and walked around their apartment a good bit with the sitter's assistance. He was finally convinced to go back to bed after he had worn himself out and he remained there until his death.

We had incredible support from the sitters we hired and my sister's best friend who is an RN and had been an administrator of in an house hospice years ago. We were able to keep Dad comfortable with morphine thank goodness under the guidance of the nurses. Dad had aspirated at some point causing aspirational pneumonia which ultimately took his life. After the 4 nights in the hospital he was glad to be home. All of our family was able to be here for Dad Friday and be with him Saturday as he took his last breath. For us this was the best outcome as hard as it was.

We had made the move of our parents to an apartment we built here at our farm over the summer last November and it has been a blessing. Mom is still here and we will be dealing with her and her dementia and new life without Dad. Still so much to do for funeral and getting ready for out of town family. A bit overwhelming right now and still dealing with off and on tears.

[KathyK]

My sincere and deepest sympathy to you and your family. You are in my thoughts.

[Moutaineer]

Bless you all, I'm so sorry, Khall.

[Kirby's Keeper]

Please take care of yourself during this stressful time, Khall. (((HUGS)))

[heddylamar]

I am so sorry, Khall.

[Sue B]

Many, many cyber hugs to you and your family khall.

[PaulaO]

Peace to you and your family.

[VBOpie]

So sorry for your loss, Khall.

[fergusnc]

Khall, I'm just so sorry for your loss. Please keep checking in with us. Grief is just so huge, and we're here. Hugs.

[Canyon]

I am sorry, khall. When my parents passed, 11 years apart, it was definitely time for them to go. My head knew that, but my heart had a hard time accepting their absence.

Please do yourself a favor - if anyone offers to help or asks what you need - delegate any task you can. Focus your energy on things only you and your family can do.

I'll be thinking of you and your family. Peace.

[Flight]

My thoughts with you Khall.

[Hayburner]

So very sorry for your loss, prayers coming for you and your family.

[Kyra's Mom]

My condolences Khall. Prayers for you and your family.

Susan

[Srhorselady]

My sympathy to you and your family during this difficult time. I found it a relief to know my father was no longer suffering. Take care of yourself.

[exvet]

My sincere condolences to you and your family. I will echo the thoughts and suggestions of delegating and letting others help where and when they can. I am VERY grateful to both relatives and friends who stepped in to take care of things and just give a bit of 'outside' perspective. It really helped once we needed to make some decisions with my Mom and I think she appreciated the 'objective' advice and assistance as much as I did.

[texsuze]

Thoughts are with you now. Take care of yourself and give yourself the time and opportunity to grieve, whenever, however that happens. Spend time with your ponies and other critters.

[LeoApp]

I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad that you were able to bring him home for his last days.

[piedmontfields]

Thinking of you and yours, khall. I'm glad you were able to bring him home. He was lucky to have you as a daughter.

[PhoenixRising]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Chisamba]

May you and your family find strength and peace. May your grief fade and joyful memories return. May you find a moment for yourself.