Painful topic making that hard choice

[khall]

Sigh I’m in the same boat as many of you who have recently lost beloved pets. Both my oldsters are giving me signs that decision is not far off. My old girl Gracie is showing signs of spinal stenosis showing weakness behind. Sometimes just flops over losing her balance. Usually once she gets going she’s much better but from past experience I know one day she will just lose that backend. Compiling the issue is that her appetite is hit and miss (I’ve used stimulants to help her when it’s really off) and her hearing is going. She’s also wandering into areas (horse pastures) that she usually does not go. She got in with Rip yesterday before I could put her in her turnout with my youngest dog and scared me to death. Rip will stomp a dog. Thankfully he did not notice her before she shimmied under the fence.

My other old guy became my mom’s companion after dad’s death last year. Hank has dealt with unilateral hip dysplasia for a long time and now it is worse. He’s a big lab cross and I’m keeping him going with previcox and tramadol. He was very lame today and not wanting to eat his like his usual piggy self. I’m having to up his tramadol. But I know this is not sustainable for him. So I’m having to juggle facing the decisions of when it’s time for both of these and look for the perfect companion for mom hopefully before Hank has to cross the bridge. It’s got to be the perfect match one that is safe for my mom to be alone with one that likes other animals. Medium sized no long hair.

I feel like I’m juggling so much with these guys all while dealing with mom’s dementia that is just so sad to watch.

[Srhorselady]

Khall I dealt with the same issues with my dog that you are dealing with towards the end. She was on the maximum daily carprofin plus lots of gabapentin. Her hind end was going plus her shoulders. For most of her last year I couldn’t let her go to the barn with me any more. What DID help and extend her quality of life was subq Pentosan (every two weeks and sometimes weekly) and she got acupuncture and PEMF every two weeks. (Alternating so she got something every week). All of the latter seemed to give her extra energy for several months. When I made the final decision was when her hind end splayed out painfully on falls and her shoulders were so bad she couldn’t pull herself up. I was afraid to leave her in case she fell without me there to help her up. So I made the final decision. It’s very painful but I knew it was time. You have my sympathy.

[Tanga]

I am so sorry. It really is tough. I am facing the same thing, again. With my Beagle I finally had to make the choice two years ago when he was down to one working leg and could not walk. (To be fair, he was at least 18 and had a long, happy, evil Beagle life.) And just about then the Kelpie that used to love to come run with me on the horses started to look funny. I took her in and had her x-rays evaluated, and it's degenerative spinal disease. Almost every morning now I have to clean poop in the house. This morning she was stuck sitting on it because she could not get up. Besides not being able to use her hind end well, she's definitely not too sane. I can see the senility in her eyes. She's mostly happy, though, so that's good. I fear the choices will be soon.

There are so many dogs that need good homes, I'm sure you will find just the right one for your mom.

[StraightForward]

I am sorry, I'm not quite there with my dog, but I know it is coming. He is in excellent shape for a 15 year old dog, but just had a tumor excised from his gums, and it was a malignant melanoma. Unknown if it has spread, so we are just trying to enjoy having him around, and hope he can have happy days and not a long decline.

With my two cats, one went into renal failure and went downhill within days. The other's back end just quit on her quite abruptly. Then our dog had cancer and she just went from happy one morning to collapsed in the afternoon and was PTS, so I haven't had to wrestle with the "when is it the right day" question much yet.

[Chisamba]

I have a method that I will share but it might only work for me. My dog Tiger was in chronic kidney failure, the slowly progressing kind, on one of her vet check ups I commented on how hard it was to know when it's time. my vet gave me advise that I have used many times since.

if you occasionally feel sorry for the animal, but mostly appreciate the good days, wait. if every time you look at the animal you feel sad or sorry for it, it is time, because the quality of life has gone.

so it a way to evaluate the quality of life and for me it has helped with the hard decisions

[Ryeissa]

My dog died 3 weeks ago, she was very happy then she wasn't- she was shutting down with in a day. It went quick and it wasn't really a choice. She wouldn't have survived the day. In her case it was cancer. I thought she wasn't doing well for about a week then it quickly progressed.
Sending you hugs

[LeoApp]

I am sorry. Sometimes it seems life piles on the crap all at one time. (((hugs)))

[khall]

For me it’s more worrying about them than feeling sorry for them. Worrying about Gracie eating or Hank hurting. I think that bothers me the most. How ethical is it for me to keep him going knowing he is in pain. I am going to bump up his tramadol to twice a day and try some adequan for him and Gracie. My horses are already on it so what’s a bit more. Hank is 14 and Gracie is 15. I know I will lose them both this year. I just don’t know when.

I have folks looking for another companion for my mom. People I trust. I don’t trust many rescues to tell the truth. I fostered for many years and know what they can be capable of in order to get a dog adopted.

[piedmontfields]

Thinking of you and your critters, khall.

I will admit that I am a day early kind of person. Probably many people, if they had seen Beetle before his departure, would have thought he was doing pretty well. But--because we knew him and his nature well, the shift was obvious to us and so was the ask for help. We did use some pain meds the last few weeks of his life, but not an extreme amount. The approach did permit him to maintain his full lifestyle until the very end.

[khall]

That time has finally come I’m having to make the call my dog Hank who has been my mom’s companion since dad died February 2020. It’s difficult enough to have to make that decision coupled with mom who never did well making those decisions before her declining mental abilities let’s just say tomorrow is going to just suck.

Gracie though has to be on her 10th life now. She’s on no medication and is eating pretty well. She’s a bit unstable in her back legs but can still go up and down stairs and is light enough I can pick her up if needed.

Now to find my mom another dog that fits well on our farm and is a good companion for her

[blob]

So sorry to hear this Khall--this is never easy, but with your mom it sounds especially challenging. I am hopefully you can find a new companion for her quickly, but that won't make up for losing Hank.

[heddylamar]

I’m so sorry Khall.

[Chancellor]

Khall I dealt with the same issues with my dog that you are dealing with towards the end. She was on the maximum daily carprofin plus lots of gabapentin. Her hind end was going plus her shoulders. For most of her last year I couldn’t let her go to the barn with me any more. What DID help and extend her quality of life was subq Pentosan (every two weeks and sometimes weekly) and she got acupuncture and PEMF every two weeks. (Alternating so she got something every week). All of the latter seemed to give her extra energy for several months. When I made the final decision was when her hind end splayed out painfully on falls and her shoulders were so bad she couldn’t pull herself up. I was afraid to leave her in case she fell without me there to help her up. So I made the final decision. It’s very painful but I knew it was time. You have my sympathy.

Agree with the Pentosan. We saw a marked difference in our older hound dog with it.

[khall]

It’s just time. Unfortunately. I’ve been cobbling together with medication now for awhile and he is just tired. Losing weight not eating well. A lab not eating. He is almost 15 with hip dysplasia so bad on the right the femur is almost out of the socket and with large growing lipomas that are in places not conducive to removal. I’ve known this was coming this year and have tried to prepare mom but she just struggles to comprehend it all for any length of time.

[Srhorselady]

I’m so sorry. Both for you and for your mother. This will be difficult for both of you.

[Ryeissa]

I'm so sorry. I still miss my dog a lot. How do people get on with life? Its like MY DOG JUST DIED....!!!
Sending you all the best to you and your mom

[Rockabilly]

I'm so sorry. I still miss my dog a lot. How do people get on with life? Its like MY DOG JUST DIED....!!!
Sending you all the best to you and your mom

Somehow you just do and I'm a fine one to talk. I haven't posted this before, but my lab mix, Noel, passed away in the hospital last October. It was Pancreaitis and it seems like it came on quick. I miss her so much. She had quite a story. I miss her when I'm mowing because she would lay under a tree and watch me mow. You wonder how you will finally accept it, but it is time that is your friend now.

Khall, I just want to give you a hug and all my sympathy. It's so hard, I know.

[khall]

God I felt like it was ground hog day. I kept having to tell mom what was going to happen and she would get upset and cry all over again. I felt like such a heel hurting her yet what else could I do. I had to make the decision for Hank ultimately. Geeze what a horrible experience. Hard enough deciding on euthanasia without the complications of my mom. And poor DH was just gutted for her. He’s been so good to her while living here. I try to be pretty pragmatic about death since none of us get out of life alive and I’ve always felt strongly about never keeping an animal going because I could not make the hard decisions which is why I finally made the call. But still what a completely sucky day.

We are moving forward ASAP to find her a new dog. She really needs that company I just hope we can find as good of me as Hank was. Perfect fit for her. Looking at a couple this week and a friend said she had a perfect match so keep your fingers crossed

[StraightForward]

I'm so sorry Khall, that is so hard. I hope you're able to find a great new friend for your mom.

[Quelah]

Awww I'm sorry, these choices we have to make . I've been grateful that I've (so far) managed to catch mine when they are starting downhill, before they hit bottom. Better they go to the end while under their own power than have to be carried in, I think it's more dignified and less stressful for all.

You're so right, and you made me laugh, a lab not eating . Again I'm sorry you have to say good bye, that is dog's one flaw, that they do not live as long as we do.

[khall]

Q I’m blessed to have a mobile vet. She came to our farm and we put Hank to sleep sitting in our front yard. DH already had the hole dug. I held off the vein for the euthanasia solution ( I vet teched for several years small animals) and hugged Hank until he was gone. Very sad day but one I knew was coming. Mom did not want to be there which was fine.

We are leaning toward a cute cocker that does have some medical issues but sweet sweet little guy. My sister fell hard for him and he would be a nice size for mom at 18 lbs

[Ryeissa]

Awww so sad. Sorry for your loss.

[PaulaO]

I'm so sorry you had to make the decision about Hank. Cockers are nice companion dogs. How about a King Charles Spaniel? They were bred to be lap dogs.

[khall]

Well we are trying out a dog:). A friend who is in rescue and had pulled her a couple of weeks ago brought the most gorgeous female cattle dog for my mom to meet. It was love at first sight for mom. She’s calm and sweet and just wants to be a good girl. She’s been around other dogs of varying sizes and a few cats. She’s a bit hesitant but not freaked out at all. I’m as smitten as my mom is. 33 lbs of sweetness. Much more my kind of dog than than the small ones my sister was advocating. Knowing at some point she will come to me. I’m crossing my fingers mom and she do well together

[heddylamar]

How are the cattle dog and your mom getting along? I’m a huge fan of bossy little cattle dogs

[khall]

Heddy this little cattle dog has no bossiness to her at all. Just a total sweet heart. Very calm and so polite. I think she is going to be a good fit for us. Have to let her meet my pittie girl who is awesome with other dogs later today

[Kyra's Mom]

Yep...it is hard. We had to put my Mom's little cocker spaniel down in March of 2020. That was her company and suddenly she was alone. Now that she is living with me, she has my cats. She isn't much of a cat fan but they all get along.

My Emmy cat was sick last week and Mom was very worried about her. She wanted to go to the emergency vet with me (NO--you will just be sitting in the parking lot). So, Mom was up most of the night like me because every time they called, she had to know what was going on (I came home because I was not sitting in the parking lot for the 4 hr estimate they gave me for her to be seen). Emmy seems to be straightened out now so Mom is less anxious.

Jingles little Ms Cattle Dog works out.

Susan

[PaulaO]

My BM has a cattle dog, Xena Warrior Princess Best Barn Dog Ever. Her name is simply Xena. I added the rest. Xena is an excellent companion. She’s a bit older so doesn’t have the stamina. She is content to ride in the golf cart or truck and follow BM around. I hope it works out with your mom and her possible cattle dog.

[khall]

The new cattle dog is practically perfect! Such a calm girl
And loves all people. She’s starting to warm up to my pittie girl.

[Ryeissa]

awesome

[texsuze]

We sent our very special 14 y.o. kitty to the Rainbow Bridge a mere three days ago. DH and I were monitoring her very closely the last few months and made the decision together to have our compassionate veterinarian come to the house to release her. Not a day too soon but not a day too late, which has given a speck of relief in our grief. This kitty was very near and dear to DH's heart and at one point he was wavering about keeping the vet appointment, thinking she might be able to go a bit longer. I stood firm (I hate being in that position) and she is resting peacefully now with her sister and her best canine friend in our special critter garden.

The toughest part, for me, is making that actual appointment. Can't get past the very uncomfortable feeling that we are dictating life and death with our pets--choosing the actual day, of all things-- but IMHO it is far better, when possible, to attempt a calm and incident-free release.

[khall]

I’m so sorry for your loss texsuze. It is a difficult decision to have to make. I will be facing it again I’m sure this year with my other older girl Gracie.

[khall]

My old girl Gracie had a seizure at 330 this morning. I felt like it was time to make the call today but she had other ideas. Completely back to normal scooting around and leaping off steps. She’s like a cat and has nine lives.

[Chisamba]

Wow Khall, that's a scary moment. How nice that she bounced back.

[khall]

Well it is looking like I’m going to have to make the call. While I have not witnessed another seizure evidence shows that she is still having them once a day. It’s just not fair to try and keep her going. Right now she is scheduled to be pts next Wednesday unless something catastrophic occurs or unless they can get to us quicker. Gracie has been the most difficult one to make that decision so far just because she’s bounced back several times from what I thought were going to end her life.

She’s been such a funny girl over the years. That Frank Sinatra song I did it my way is so fitting to my Gracie girl.

[StraightForward]

I'm sorry TexSuze and Khall.

My BO lost her retired FEI mare yesterday morning to colic. Too many of our animal friends seem to be leaving us recently.

[Sue B]

My vet friend called last night. her 9yr old German Shepard is failing. We did a splenectomy a few weeks ago, histo came back hemangiosarcoma and now she's acting like she has gastric bloat. I'm hoping she wanted someone to "take the fall' and suggest euthanasia because that's what I did; haven't been brave enough to call yet.

Sorry for khall, texsuze and exvet's BO

As I was typing, vet friend texted me a picture of one of her horses. He tore open the entire left side of his face, from corner of lips to top of cheek bone! Definitely NOT her day yesterday.

[StraightForward]

exvet's BO

Sue, it was actually Cathy P.'s mare.

That head wound sounds horrific.

[texsuze]

Gosh, jingles for all above who are dealing with these sad situations with the elderly, sick and injured critters. I tend to forget how short critter lifespans really are, compared to average human lifespans. Add to that the myriad of diseases they can have and it is sometimes overwhelming. We were spared the passing of any critters in 2020 (The Year of the Cootie) but the Fates have made up for it this year, as we've lost two of my pet hens, plus our kitty (see above) and two dear and special human friends. My oldster gelding turns 30 years old in a few days--perhaps the bright spot this year.....

[Ryeissa]

Yeah, its traumatic to loose such a special pet. I'm still feeling it but its not as severe. Sorry to everyone with these terrible losses.

[khall]

We had to let Gracie go last night. She had a bad seizure around 6 pm that just was terrible to watch. 4 seizures in under a week. She was also losing control of her hind end. Thankfully my vet came to us after hours and we put her down here on the farm. DH got home in time to have her grave dug before she was pts. Very thankful that it was not pouring rain since we are dealing with Fred as well.

Gracie was the last of our 4 original farm dog pack. Lost two in 2018 and our last two this year. Gracie was our alarm dog (Zoey our pit is not a barker) letting us know if any stranger danger. She included DH as a stranger danger continuing to bark at him over the years:). Gave him quite the complex. Gracie was just not fond of men for the most part. Her quirky happy self will be missed. The squirrels are safer now

[exvet]

My condolences khall and to all. It's been a tough year.

[Moutaineer]

I'm sorry, Khall. Its never easy, even when we know its the right thing to do.

[Srhorselady]

I’m so sorry. It is hard even when you know it is time.

[StraightForward]

Ugh, we just went through this early Friday morning. I also believe it was a seizure, but he "came to" and relaxed into a peaceful sleep when we arrived at the e-vet. Too sad to say much more just yet. The house is so empty now.

[khall]

I’m so sorry SF:(.

[Tanga]

I am sorry, khall. I am so glad you had a vet that could do that for you. Sorry for you, too, sf.

I have one know I am going to have to make a decision soon about, too. She has trouble standing and I need to do it before it becomes critical.

[Ryeissa]

sorry everyone