Life Changes

[Srhorselady]

I don’t have any children and all my closest family members live in other states. Many years ago I decided that I NEVER wanted someone else to have to take responsibility for my future. Since I’m a retired librarian I, of course, researched. When I discovered communities that included independent living, assisted living, and memory care that seemed like something to look at. My mother was diagnosed with Altszheimers. So I feel I have to consider that. And all my grandparents and great grandparents lived into their late 80s or 90s so I’m assuming a fairly long life. My original plan was to stay on my horse property until my senior horses all passed on. I did start making a list of communities that I might want to consider. Last year I started touring these communities with no time line in mind, but I wanted an idea what they are like etc. I had a list of 25 or so. In the last years my health has taken some odd twists. Although I’m not a large person I’ve always been physically capable. Then I had two minor surgeries, followed by a frozen shoulder and physical therapy. Then an osteoporosis diagnosis. All of this limited my riding to the point that I rarely did it. Then a little over a year ago my wrist started aching and feeling weak. After doctor visits and weeks of more physical therapy I had an MRI and was diagnosed with torn tendons, torn ligaments, and displaced bones in my right wrist. No i
Specific injury just slow disintegration and over use. Months of therapy etc followed with me resisting steroid injections (I finally gave in on this) and surgery. I now have complete range of motion back but not the strength I once had. Meanwhile I continued to take care of my four horses and five acre horse property with some hired help. Then I lost one of my horses last April to the worst colic I have ever seen. It started as what was probably a mild gas colic then the vet thinks he twisted something. He was humanely put down. That was an emotional roller coaster. I felt so helpless trying to keep him up and not crashing into things etc. Putting him down was actually a relief that he hadn’t hurt me or any of the friends who were assisting or the Vet staff. None of the meds could calm him enough to even try to treat him. Shortly afterwards I found a community that I thought might be a future living possibility. However they had nothing available which was fine since I wasn’t ready yet. I continued touring the rest of my list. I still had two senior horses, one 28 and one 25 plus my pandemic pony rescue. Gwen is now three years into training. She is walk, trot, and canter under saddle with a 13 year old. She is doing some out on the roads and trail work and we are considering schooling shows. Considering that we started her with halter work at eight I’m VERY pleased with her. Then I got an email that the community I thought might work had a brand new two bedroom ground floor apartment available. Shock! Fast forward three months. My property sold in two days. Moving was HELL! Gwen went to my neighbor who had been working with her to be a school pony. My two seniors are 15 minutes away in a boarding place with GRASS pasture! Grass pasture is almost unheard of in Arizona! The 25 year old pony who loves to work is being used by local pony clubbers. The first month was stressful for all of us, especially since it was the hottest summer in Arizona history and my two old guys hadn’t been off my property in years. But all has worked out well. Life changes. I’ve met lots of new people. The life style is very active but slower paced for me. It doesn’t take the physical strength I no longer have. I still go to the barn daily and thoroughly enjoy reading here about all of you and your horse challenges. Change can be good for all involved.

[Tanga]

I am glad it all worked put for you. I think a lot of us are going through similar challenges.

[StraightForward]

That is a lot of change, but it sounds like things have fallen into place quite nicely for you and your ponies.

[texsuze]

SHL,thanks for posting. Over the decades it seems that many of the significant life changes which were either thrust upon me, or that I decided to make actually ended up being the best thing that could've happened, given the situation. Not always evident at the time, but when one has a chance to look back and see how things played out, I consider myself fortunate that I seemed to have made the right decision in most of those circumstances, although for sure not easy ones. Being 'child-free-by-choice' with a 91 y.o. mom who lives independently (went to pick up her new vacuum cleaner this morning.... ) and a 73 y.o. DH, I totally get where you're coming from on the subject of planning ahead.

[Chisamba]

Well planned and accomplished!! Wishing you the best.

[PaulaO]

Change is scary but often it brings good. Kudos to you for checking out “senior” communities. My mom moved into one when she was 85 and was so happy. I haven’t planned that far in advance (I’m ONLY 66 haha). Miss A is 22 and when she transitions I won’t get another horse. I’ll shareboard or take lessons.

How do our bodies suddenly fall apart? In May I was diagnosed with shoulder arthritis. I’m halfway to needing a replacement. Spent 3 months in PT 3 times a week and it has really helped. My sister, my only living relative, moved 1,000 miles away in July. That was really hard for me to deal with. We lived 70 miles apart and it was comforting to know she was only an hour away.

Yep, lots of changes as we age.

[Kyras_Mom]

I am in a similar place to you srhorselady. I am also planning on a similar course.

I do not have any land. I already board but when things get hard… I do not want to be stuck with a money sink house. I would rather pay someone rent. I saved a lot during my working career and being single with no kids there is no one that is going care for me. When you get nagging injury/ailment after nagging injury/ailment all those household and yard chores just get harder and harder to keep up with. Then, you need a staff available for all that stuff anyway. And never mind riding. I went through 7 years with 6 surgeries including removing my tailbone. So in a 7-8 year period, I maybe rode 200 times. I have made it back to riding but with elder care, it is still kind of hit and miss. Yet I have owned the horse since she was coming 2 and she is 21 this year so I feel she is a keeper.

I will too need to make a list soon and start touring. I am 68 and right now my 93 yo mother is living with me so that won’t happen while she is still here but it is something you need to plan for. I worked hard while I worked and in my old age, I am going to enjoy whatever activities I can while I can and let someone else do all the work.

I am glad you got moved…that always induces chaos, even if it goes well. It makes me even more sure that that course is for me.

Susan

[Srhorselady]

Although I boarded when I got my first horse that was many years ago. Now I am transitioning from my own property, where I actually boarded other people’s horses for a brief (very brief) time, to being a boarder again. I really didn’t enjoy boarding other people horses, way too much work for the reward, but the tax right offs when developing property were good. I did it for three to four years and a horrible time convincing people to leave. Since then it’s just been me, my father while he was alive, my horses, and part time barn help this last few years. I’m actually enjoying being a boarder now and I REALLY appreciate how much work it is. I’m trying to be the best boarder in the barn! No drama queen here. No more 5:30am and 9pm feedings! In fact my two seniors have a new role as of today. They are the barn babysitters! The two foals in the next pasture broke a fence and came visiting. Since that worked well (ie they had chosen their own babysitters) and the foals were due to be weaned, they are now sharing their pasture with the weanlings andthe mamas are in the next pasture. My guys actually have stalls next to mares and babies so they knew them. Now babies will share a stall between my horses and mares when not in pasture. The weanlings are warm blood crosses and almost as large as Peanut my 13.2 hand pony. Mariano is a 16.3 hand Hanoverian and he loves those babies. I don’t think Peanut cares…she just loves Mariano! So as long as he’s there it’s fine. Babies are so cute! They are Selle Francais x Appaloosa and both have color. Both mamas are very nice conformationally and bloodlines. Sire is sport Appy (Wap lines )with lots of get in jumping and dressage. Watching them is lots of fun.

[exvet]

I admire your outlook and willingness to adapt, though it sounds like everything is 'right time, right place' which is great. I wish my mother had been in a better spot mentally to have seen many of the positive aspects to all the changes when I sold her house and moved her into a local senior community with assisted living. Unfortunately she has never been one to make friends or participate in any sort of social activity. My mother's whole world revolved around my father which makes it even more difficult. We're a little more than 5 years down the road and she is still so very negative about all of it. All I can do is shake my head when other community members reach out to her or try to engage with her and she just ignores them or rudely blows them off.

[avma]

Well done planning! I wish my own mother would be as good. She is the type to not want to deal with it until it's a problem. I asked her if she'd like to look at retirement places in the area, just to get an idea of what they have, and whether she'd like them. She said no. That she'll look at them when she needs them. Sigh. Exvet, your mom sounds just like mine social wise. I feel like I"ll be having to make that sudden decision to sell her house and move her into a senior community, and all she will do is complain.

Srhorselady, I'm so glad things all worked out for you! I hope that it continues to be a pleasant change.

[Moutaineer]

My husband is much older than me, so I face the reality that unless I fall on my head, I'm going to outlive him. At which point, I think I'm going to be looking to do something like this while I'm still able to make my own decision and find a place I like.

Tough around here, though. There really doesn't seem to be anything at all. Maybe that will change in the next 10 years with an aging population.