What will happen to today's young men and women?

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What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Chancellor » Wed Dec 16, 2015 6:32 pm

I work for a small pharmaceutical company and in an incubator space for several other small pharma companies. Each year, my boss hires several sophomores and juniors in college as interns. We have also started having students coming in during the school year to do their Major Qualifying Projects (MQP). I am astounded at these kids.
Last year, we started having the kids take a test on general chemistry. We started this because the kids couldn't seem to do simple things like ratios etc. One kid last year handed in his test and said "This is Freshman Chemistry, I don't remember this." To which I replied, "I had Freshman Chemistry 20+ years ago and I remember it". The test scores this year are absymal. Most are getting less than 50%!
Two years ago, I hired an older "kid" to work for me as an IT intern. He did some good work for most of the summer. But, with about 2-3 weeks left of his internship, he texted me on a Monday morning telling me that he wasn't coming in for the next two weeks because he had to get ready for school. I told him I was not happy about that but what could I do. Two weeks later (they get paid every two weeks), he texted me asking where his paycheck was. Um, you are an intern. You get paid for working....you don't get sick or vacation time (this is a three month internship). I am NOT exaggerating. When I told him he wasn't going to be paid for time he hadn't worked, he threatened me that he was going to his school from where we hired him.
He was fired and we worked this out with the school.

This year's MQP students had to attend a safety lecture given by a contracted Health and Safety person. There were three of the students who had to get this training. The three students agreed to a time for this lecture (9am on a Wednesday morning). At 9am that morning, ONE of the three students had shown up. One of the other two was called and she said she couldn't get a ride and couldn't make it (We are a 15 minute walk downhill from where she lives). The other never showed up.

What are we doing with this next generation??? Are they going to go back and live with their parents for the rest of their parents' lives? There are a LOT more stories I could tell.....each just as unbelievable. But I lived it and they actually happened.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby boots-aregard » Wed Dec 16, 2015 6:53 pm

And yet, in other fields, in other parts of the country, other students are graduating early, with honors, with a full year of college credit already in their hands. It's like some kids are self-selecting to fail, and some are self-selecting to succeed, isn't it?

I suppose that's always been true. I was talking to my father (a retired doctor) about his brother who had recently died, asking why Dad was the only one of his siblings who went to college. Of course, that was a different time and all, but his answer was that he was interested in school, and did well in school, so continuing on was supported by his family. But his brother B had a learning problem (they didn't know how to diagnose it at the time) and his other brother P "just wanted to have fun with the girls". Neither B nor P had very comfortable lives, but that's what their youth and interests and motivations set them up for. (For that matter, my dad didn't have a very comfortable life in some ways -- both he and P were raging alcoholics for too much of their adult lives, but at least Dad got sober. P never did.)

Happened then, happening today.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Chancellor » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:00 pm

boots-aregard wrote:And yet, in other fields, in other parts of the country, other students are graduating early, with honors, with a full year of college credit already in their hands. It's like some kids are self-selecting to fail, and some are self-selecting to succeed, isn't it?



These kids go on to graduate from college. I think that colleges and perhaps high schools have lowered the expectations of these kids.

Our HVAC guy was commenting (without prior discussion of OUR interns) that the kids he was getting from the local vocational school are lazy and show up late all the time. None of them wants to work never mind work hard.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby PaulaO » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:04 pm

What will happen (and has happened) is that standards for everything will be lowered, and work will be barely passable. Fortunately I will be dead before there is no longer a work ethic. Supposedly the millenials (20s to low 30s) aren't interested in "material goods" they want "experiences" which apparently don't include doing work correctly or properly. And yes, they will live with mommy and daddy because that's who enables them.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby PhoenixRising » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:21 pm

I guess I fall into that "millenial" category, being 25. But I must be an outlier to what I'm reading. I work three jobs, I'm self sufficient, show up on time, keep my promises and commitments, and if I could afford it would be back in school giving it my all. However, I've seen what you're all saying in coworkers around my age. I use to work at a pet boarding facility. Some of my coworkers were extremely lazy. After I left that job, they switched location managers. I've heard morale is bad there and that its been said "if the manager doesn't care and doesn't do her job, why should I?". That attitude is unbelievable to me.
I guess I was fortunate enough to have parents that showed me the value of hard work.
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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Ponichiwa » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:32 pm

Just like always, some of us (I'm 27) will succeed and some will fail.

Our sires' age was worse than our grandsires'. We, their sons, are more worthless than they; so in our turn we shall give the world a progeny yet more corrupt.

- Horace, ~20 BC

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Chancellor » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:38 pm

PhoenixRising wrote:I guess I fall into that "millenial" category, being 25. But I must be an outlier to what I'm reading. I work three jobs, I'm self sufficient, show up on time, keep my promises and commitments, and if I could afford it would be back in school giving it my all. However, I've seen what you're all saying in coworkers around my age. I use to work at a pet boarding facility. Some of my coworkers were extremely lazy. After I left that job, they switched location managers. I've heard morale is bad there and that its been said "if the manager doesn't care and doesn't do her job, why should I?". That attitude is unbelievable to me.
I guess I was fortunate enough to have parents that showed me the value of hard work.


No offense meant PhoenixRising. Obviously, there will be exceptions to the rule which you appear to be. We have had 12-18 interns for the last three years and the majority are more interested in having fun than actually getting work done.
This year's IT intern was pretty bad too. During his interview, he told me he was completely comfortable with setting up domains etc on the server. But TWICE he screwed up big time. He was finally relegated to doing not a whole lot. I joke with a friend of mine that I like to see him on LinkedIn to see what new skills he thinks he has. When he was working here, he was trying to learn HTML. When it showed up on LinkedIn, he still couldn't build an HTML table correctly. UGh! *SIGH* It will be an interesting generation for sure when their parents are gone and there is no one to tell them they did everything right (even if they didn't)

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby scruffy the cat » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:51 pm

Please don't lump all of today's young men and women together. Some kids work really hard. Some do not. It's a story as old as the ages: “The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.” Socrates wrote that.

When I have employees who are underperforming, I look at my hiring practices and management. How clear are my expectations? Do I hire based on buzzwords on a resume or on work ethic? I used to reject certain highly academically-qualified-but-with-no-work-history applicants from a local Ivy League university in favor of those kids who went to the local state school but who had a successful work history. I didn't care what job they did, just that showed initiative and responsibility. The other stuff can be learned, and quickly. You can't teach work ethic.

Are these kids taking this job because it's a requirement or because they are hungry to do the work? If it's just a school requirement, you may be doomed to dealing with apathetic kids.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby PhoenixRising » Wed Dec 16, 2015 7:52 pm

Chancellor wrote:
No offense meant PhoenixRising.


I took no offense. I really meant to agree with you... I've seen it too. But to add that I definitely don't fall into that category! :lol:
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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Suzon » Wed Dec 16, 2015 8:19 pm

I find it interesting. When my last assistant left (whom I adore and who is a get it done powerhouse), we hired DH's youngest son (24). He's a great kid, very polite, quiet and smart. He's not particularly driven (tried college, dropped out after the first semester) and we had to actually throw him out of the house for him to get motivated enough to get his first job (Target) a couple years ago. He's now editing reports and booking inspections. His learning curve is slow because I have to teach things he should have learned in school (grammar and sentence structure). Fortunately, he's conscientious, shows up on time, let's me know when he needs time off etc. Eventually, he'll be fully trained as an office assistant but because his culture has left him entirely unprepared, it's a much longer road than it needs to be. Kids straight out of high school should be able to pick this job up.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Melody » Wed Dec 16, 2015 8:36 pm

I kind of wonder the same thing. Around my area (middle of Oklahoma) the new vets are the ones that have me shaking my head. Fresh out of vet school, get hired by my very experienced established vet and they don't want to put in the hours. He has had several he let go because they said they would not be on call for the weekend. They come in and tell him no I won't do that or I won't work those days, I have other plans. Two of those vets he fired opened up a practice in my small town. They only want to work five days a week, will not be opened on Saturdays (which most good vets are very busy Saturday mornings) and will only take emergency calls if your emergency happens during their normal office hours. We hired quite a few people to work on the farm and only one was really qualified or had any kind of work ethics. I know there has to be some good young people out there with the drive to succeed and not be lazy but doesn't seem to be the norm anymore.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Beorn » Wed Dec 16, 2015 10:08 pm

Nah, they're not all like that. There's definitely entitlement, and that certain-Ivy-league-school that scruffy mentioned is definitely heavily enriched for them (the ones who figure they're qualified for my job before they've even graduated). But I started teaching at another college in the area and was really REALLY pleasantly surprised by the students I encountered. Interested, engaged, and supportive of each other and me as an instructor. So... I'm hopeful.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby chantal » Wed Dec 16, 2015 10:55 pm

I am skeptical whenever I hear "today's _____" whatever or "kids today". The Horace quote from Ponichiwa is great. And it's not the only one I've seen from days gone by.

“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.”
Socrates

I too wonder if we hear about more of this as people has have access to social media 24/7 and news. There are good, slash that, great millenials. There are great teenagers and college kids. And high schoolers. But you don't hear about them. I see them in our family and as friends of my kids and family. We are lucky!

Maybe the hiring process isn't good and the ones that interview well aren't the ones that should be chosen, who knows. So many variables.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby mld02004 » Thu Dec 17, 2015 12:54 am

Where I teach we have a required course to go on an internship. Perhaps the college should be doing a better job of preparing students. That said, some will get all the prep in the world and still not do well. Others are great. Sometimes when I am absolutely flabbergasted by some of them, I try to remember all the quiet hard working ones that do fine.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Kelo » Thu Dec 17, 2015 1:55 am

I dunno, I am a borderline millenial, and I work quite a bit harder than my coworkers that are several generations older than I. And I have met quite a few youngsters who will bust their buns.

So I think what a few posters have pointed out is true....there is a mix in every generation. But everyone other than is sucks :-P

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby clanter » Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:12 am

PaulaO wrote:What will happen (and has happened) is that standards for everything will be lowered, and work will be barely passable. Fortunately I will be dead before there is no longer a work ethic. Supposedly the millenials (20s to low 30s) aren't interested in "material goods" they want "experiences" which apparently don't include doing work correctly or properly. And yes, they will live with mommy and daddy because that's who enables them.


Not all

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby clanter » Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:15 am

mld02004 wrote:Where I teach we have a required course to go on an internship. Perhaps the college should be doing a better job of preparing students. That said, some will get all the prep in the world and still not do well. Others are great. Sometimes when I am absolutely flabbergasted by some of them, I try to remember all the quiet hard working ones that do fine.


our son was required to do an internship... he was hired after three weeks there and never finished college ... but his company that he started from the internship has hired nearly all if his college class

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby M&M » Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:27 am

Maybe it's the same as each generation thinking the next generation's music is horrible, but I don't think so. Look around. Look at the results. We, as a society, are lowering our standards. Or having them lowered for us. Of course there are bright, motivated, energetic young people out there. But I definitely think that there are more people entering the work force, college educated or not, who don't want to pay their dues, whether that be doing the grunt work, being available for emergencies off hours, or being on time and only getting paid for the time you put in.
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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby M&M » Thu Dec 17, 2015 12:42 pm

This is a really long article, http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/arc ... nd/399356/ , that addresses why I think things are different now, and also briefly addresses the increased hostility between political parties. After work tonight, I'll copy and paste some of the key (to me) points. Right now, I gotta go!
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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Tabby » Thu Dec 17, 2015 1:06 pm

I have a 28 year old son. When he was in high school, I insisted that he work part time and earn his own spending money. Most of his classmates didn't have to do that. I remember some of their parents telling me that I shouldn't be putting such a burden on my son and that it was more important to them that their children focus on school. I've heard it so many times and I know that people used to talk about my bad parenting skills behind my back.

Today my son owns and runs a successful business. He owns a house in Toronto - a very expensive area for real estate. I'd say he's better established than I was at his age. Meanwhile, many of those high school (and even college) classmates are still living with their parents struggling to find their first real job. I'd love to run into one of those parents today.

Honestly, I think we are taking too good care of our children now - to the extent that they never really learn about the real world. I had my first summer job when I was 7 years old and worked either summer or part time after school all the way through university. Today the legal age to start working is 16. Heck - there is even a movement out west to prevent children from "working" on their own family farms - as in you can't show your kid how to feed animals, milk goats or do pretty much anything. I think by 16, work ethic has already been learned (or not). If that is the case, we really are in trouble because the next group of kids growing up now has it even softer than the millenials.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby scruffy the cat » Thu Dec 17, 2015 1:31 pm

I'm pretty uncomfortable with putting down another <insert population group name here>. "There, but for the grace of God go I," and all that...

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Chancellor » Thu Dec 17, 2015 1:37 pm

So, one of our college interns went on to graduate. She got a good job at a great company....and quit after ONE DAY saying the work was too hard.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby scruffy the cat » Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:02 pm

Playing devil's advocate here: maybe it was a bad fit? Maybe her parents have been pushing her into this field and she's just not right for it and she knew she would fail? Maybe it WAS too hard? I don't really think we can know what other people go through completely and I'm uncomfortable judging. I'm sure plenty of people could judge me for not losing enough weight or becoming a stronger rider or be a better mother or wiser with my finances.

That intern above? She might not work out at that company but it's fairly likely at some point she'll wind up in a job that suits her and will be a content enough person *within her own self* and not by any of our standards.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby seahorsefarm » Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:12 pm

Oh my goodness - at my last job, our interns and younger employees had amazing intelligence and work ethic and made me look uninspired by contrast. I am not fond of categorizing a whole generation - either in praise or in condemnation. Although I am going to agree with the suggestion that the hiring companies have some responsibility for an employee's failure to perform to expectation. My company was VERY clear with its standards and expectations, and I think that was reflected in its personnel. It was a challenging yet rewarding work environment, to be sure.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby seahorsefarm » Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:13 pm

Also adding we are all contributing anecdotal stuff from our own life and observations. Definitely not data driven. lol

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Linda_V » Thu Dec 17, 2015 3:08 pm

I work in an academic lab and we hire a lot of undergrads and have done so for the past 15 years I have worked here. I am the one interacting the most with the undergrads so although anecdotal I am definitely noticing a trend. I would say the gap between "good" and "bad" undergrads as far as work ethic, timeliness and will to learn have widened in the last 15 years. When I started working with the undergrads they were mostly all good but not too many that I would call outstanding (not talking intelligence here). They usually worked with us a minimum of a year while in college some stayed for two years. Now the majority of undergrads we get we don't renew for a second semester (or they don't come back since the work isn't "fun" enough); however, the good undergrads we do get are absolutely outstanding and we have happily offered some of them a job between college and grad school/med school.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Fatcat » Thu Dec 17, 2015 4:49 pm

I just saw this essay on the PBS Newshour, about the epidemic of "over helping your kids", it's spot on for the root cause of what Chancellor is seeing. Here is the link to the piece,

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/parents- ... your-kids/

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby jeniferkey » Thu Dec 17, 2015 5:30 pm

Yeah. We hired for IT a kid out of college. His parents came to check out the company and possibly to his interview. I was not shocked when he quit after a week (we paid for his move here and other perks) and it was because his parents offered to support him if he'd move home and work on an app he wanted to develop. I know even my own nephew at 27 or so had moved away and when he wasn't answering his mother's texts and phone calls she called his boss to check up on him. Still, I think both these kids will be productive members of society they just might not have the same drive as someone who made their own way.
That being said I didn't have a real job until I graduated HS. My parents asked me to go to a good local college so they wouldn't have to pay room and board and I could continue living at home. This was some 30 years ago. It didn't make me lazy or not a go-getter. I had jobs all through college, started a business and worked overseas.
It sounds like maybe the college isn't fielding their students and they don't really have an interest in their degrees. Maybe it means more kids are going to college than used to, which isn't a bad thing. It just means some won't be as driven. If you're competing for a spot I think you work harder than if anyone is accepted. Maybe that has changed.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Tabby » Thu Dec 17, 2015 7:34 pm

I have heard of parents following up on job interviews on behalf of their adult children. I think it even happened here, though that could be a rumour. I personally think that would send the wrong message to the potential employer - that the kid can't do his own follow up or maybe s/he doesn't want the job as much as mommy and daddy want him/her to get it. If I were the one hiring, it would put me right off.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Suzon » Thu Dec 17, 2015 11:13 pm

On a side note, DH has noticed something else in this area. He does home inspections for buyers. We get a lot of young tech people who make crap loads of money (so obviously they show up for work and are successful at what they do). When he first started inspecting 15 years ago, most men at least had some mechanical knowledge and knew one end of a screw driver from another. These days, no one knows a darn thing. So he has to explain everything in the most basic terms from the very beginning and pray the client understands what this means once they own the house. No one does any kind of basic maintenance at all anymore...not even something as simple as tightening the screw on an old style doorknob.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Tarlo Farm » Fri Dec 18, 2015 2:29 am

A friend had a 16 year old nephew who had never had a shovel in his hand. Had to teach the kid how to shovel! Now, those of us who can't remember when they first held a shovel, we need to understand what a shovel feels like in the hands of a kid who has never held one. If someone handed you a paint sprayer, would you know what to do? Or a compass? Or a laser-leveler? Or a soft-serve ice-cream machine? We need to TEACH. To EXPOSE. To EXPAND the horizons of all kids.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby AirsAboveNC » Fri Dec 18, 2015 3:24 am

I'm at the top end of the Millennials and I don't really identify with them. My upbringing was very different from other kids my age. If I set myself up for failure, no one swooped in to save me. If something bad happened to me I was told (perhaps a little too much) that it was likely my fault and that I needed to fix it. Expectations were set high and rules were strictly enforced. I got a job at 16 and was never unemployed until the general madness that followed my college graduation at 30 (during which I continued job hunting and got one after six months. But that's another story).

Going back to college at 28 bridged the gap even wider. I felt so much older than my classmates, and had a lot more real-world life experience even at their ages than they did. None of them had ever had to stretch a dollar or worried about their next meal. None had ever been completely self-supporting and had little understanding of what it meant to be poor. Many of them seemed astounded and resentful that they couldn't do things exactly their way. I really just couldn't relate to them.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Hoof'n it » Fri Dec 18, 2015 6:41 am

I'm live seen a lot of young'ns coming through our company, and I've known a lot socially.
I do have to say, I believe majority of the work ethic comes installed from parents.

I honestly believe that 90% of these young people are coming through with poor work ethic either because the parents have been too soft or too strict on the kids. The parents may have a big work ethic, but give the kids everything on a silver spoon, which means that they don't know the value of a dollar or how much work went into getting that dollar.
Then you get the parents who are blatent bludgers, and get all the hand outs the government gives them, still procreate and expect the system to feed, house, clothe and school the kids. The kids grow up exactly the same as the kids who get handed everything... They grow up not knowing how to work for their money.

I also think that a lot of kids are 'sheltered' from the real world, until they are chucked into it, with their college degree in hand. They don't know the meaning of a real days work, until they have their 1st job - it then becomes the survival of the fittest, people adapt fast and others..... May take a while.

There are a lot of kids who get brought up knowing the value of the dollar, knowing they are going to have to work for their money. There are also kids who want to change their position in life and will strive to better themselves.

Let's chuck this back at the gen x'ers and ask how they raised their kids and if their kids have a good work ethic or not?

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Chancellor » Fri Dec 18, 2015 11:42 am

Tarlo Farm wrote:A friend had a 16 year old nephew who had never had a shovel in his hand. Had to teach the kid how to shovel! Now, those of us who can't remember when they first held a shovel, we need to understand what a shovel feels like in the hands of a kid who has never held one. If someone handed you a paint sprayer, would you know what to do? Or a compass? Or a laser-leveler? Or a soft-serve ice-cream machine? We need to TEACH. To EXPOSE. To EXPAND the horizons of all kids.


So, this is exactly my boss's idea. Unfortunately, many of them just don't CARE to get the exposure or be taught.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Red Barn » Fri Dec 18, 2015 12:14 pm

I'm a university professor, and I'm with you, Chancellor.

The only difference is that I wouldn't call these kids "lazy" - I'd call them helpless. Or passive, or disempowered, or chronically infantilized. And it's getting worse every year. I also very much agree with Suzon's remarks about their complete lack of practical, everyday skills, which I think is hugely telling as well.

Part of it, I think, is the test-driven regimentation of public schools; part of it is absent, over-worked, over-compensating parents; part of it is the value system engendered by consumer capitalism; part of it is over-reliance on technology, and part of it is the overuse of psychiatric meds. In any event, a great many of these kids really are pretty dysfunctional, and I do wonder - nearly every day, in fact - what the hell is going to happen to these people.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Code3 » Fri Dec 18, 2015 3:09 pm

I know some very motivated, hard working young people. But more and more what we see is what Chancellor, Red Barn, fatcat, Suzon, M&M describe. I agree with the term "helpless". They both need to be led by the hand, and have a sense of entitlement.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Racetrackreject » Fri Dec 18, 2015 4:08 pm

Red Barn wrote:I'm a university professor, and I'm with you, Chancellor.

The only difference is that I wouldn't call these kids "lazy" - I'd call them helpless. Or passive, or disempowered, or chronically infantilized. And it's getting worse every year. I also very much agree with Suzon's remarks about their complete lack of practical, everyday skills, which I think is hugely telling as well.


This is pretty dead on. It's not just the lack of knowledge or skills, but the complete disinterest in trying to figure out how to do something for yourself. Heck, we have google now and I don't think there is a single thing that doesn't have a how-to video on youtube, so there's not really an excuse to not try to do something.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby bailey » Sat Dec 19, 2015 1:33 am

Interesting and enlightening topic. I have a 24 yo son, and a new barn mate, 25 yo woman who's 'adopted' me. With both, I'm trying to balance being 'present', interested, encouraging and supportive, with not enabling either of them-letting them do 'it' themselves.
Not easy, but fun!

The calmer I am, the stronger I am.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Tabby » Sat Dec 19, 2015 2:21 pm

Hoof'n it wrote:
Let's chuck this back at the gen x'ers and ask how they raised their kids and if their kids have a good work ethic or not?

I'm a gen x'er and as I posted above, I suffered a lot of criticism from other parents about how I raised my kid who is now successful, due in part to his good work ethic.

Another major difference in the way kids are raised now is that they have virtually no unstructured and unsupervised play time. In my generation, we would spend weekends and summers playing outside with the other neighbourhood kids (all ages). We'd go out on our bicycles at dawn and only come home when we were hungry or when the street lights came on (universal curfew in our neighbourhood). We built forts, played games we knew, invented new games and even broke some rules. When problems arose, we'd have to figure a way to take care of it ourselves - mostly because we were afraid to get in trouble (we usually got caught anyway but once in a while we'd be successful). We used our imaginations, developed problem solving skills and learned to be responsible for our actions. I lamented when my son was young and had few opportunities for this type of play. But he did have a little. I don't think kids today have any at all. They don't even let kids under age 10 walk home from school without an adult. I walked to and from school by myself in kindergarten at age 5. I think that like languages, it is far easier to develop imagination, initiative and problem solving skills as a child than as an adult. Kids are reaching adulthood without these skills and as others have said, it's leaving them helpless.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Tarlo Farm » Sat Dec 19, 2015 2:28 pm

So true! ^^^

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Chancellor » Sat Dec 19, 2015 2:37 pm

Well said Tabby!
My neighbor lets her kid walk home "alone" the 200 yards by driving along behind her while she is walking. And the kids are NEVER outside just playing without an adult making sure they aren't getting hurt or whatever.
It's funny. I distinctly remember in 4th and 5th grades deciding I was going to walk home from school rather than take the bus. And I would decide THAT day without any input from my parents!
I agree that the unsupervised, unscheduled play really did teach us problem solving skills. Sadly, my sister does not let her kids have ANY unsupervised play either...

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby emmalou » Sat Dec 19, 2015 3:13 pm

It's hard to be a parent these days. The tolerance level for kids seem so utterly low. The same people that lament that parents these days are doing a crap job raising kids are the same ones that bitch about kids irritating them doing normal kid stuff. (no, I'm not calling out anyone in this thread)

Zero tolerance school policies, constant anti bullying overreaction, social media parent shaming, the constant barrage of news about bad things happening to kids, the insane "pinterest mom" expectations - I believe all has affected my generation's rather neurotic parenting style.

My kids are 10 and 11. We do not live on a kid friendly street but both have run of my parents' neighborhood (same one I grew up in). I have just started allowing my 11 year old to walk to Starbucks after school with a small group of girlfriends. I have to force myself to let them be independent but I do have a constant gnawing in my gut when they are out and about.

The main things I'm trying to teach my kids are:

Hard Work
Independence
Character
Respect

I firmly believe most of this is learned by example.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby DollarHorse » Sun Dec 20, 2015 3:43 pm

Since switching jobs I've interacted with more undergrads/recent grads. Like AirsAbove said... I'm not THAT much older, but man does it seem like a huge gap in attitude/work ethic/expectations. And yes, a few from my alma mater I'm tempted to lecture about how they're ruining the reputation of that school.

I imagine it's really hard to raise kids today. There seems to be a lot of criticism and expectations from all sides.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Melody » Sun Dec 20, 2015 5:59 pm

Tarlo Farm wrote:A friend had a 16 year old nephew who had never had a shovel in his hand. Had to teach the kid how to shovel! Now, those of us who can't remember when they first held a shovel, we need to understand what a shovel feels like in the hands of a kid who has never held one. If someone handed you a paint sprayer, would you know what to do? Or a compass? Or a laser-leveler? Or a soft-serve ice-cream machine? We need to TEACH. To EXPOSE. To EXPAND the horizons of all kids.


That reminds me of a conversation I had with my Mom-in-law. She is not getting around good at all, uses a walker now and is in a lot of pain. Won't leave her big house though. She use to love to work in the yard and was complaining that she has to nag her two sons that live close to her to come help. I reminded her she had four high school aged grandsons that could help. She tells me they don't know how! I said you mean they can't use a lawn mower or pull weeds? How is that possible? All her kids were expected to do chores and learn life skills but I guess they are not expecting their own kids to do anything! I think that is just sad. She couldn't even think of any kid on her block that she could hire, she didn't think any of them could do simple yard work.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby FlyingLily » Sun Dec 20, 2015 9:11 pm

I'm just not sure whether this is a change or just us noticing things because we are older than we used to be & have more authority at work.

But: I teach at a university and this semester I had one class with almost 100% pre-meds = very highly grade-conscious, but lots of freshmen so not yet very mentally organized in many cases. Rocky starts. So I offered a ton of extra-credit options that would be educational and let them add points where they needed it.

I made 2 conditions: Extra-credit had to be submitted in print form (I did not want to manage 200 emails), and there was a deadline.

What do you think happened?

Grades were submitted last week. I am still getting emailed extra-credit assignments and also complaints about "my last one did not get recorded yet - when are you going to do that?"

Hello, brain-surgeon-wannabe: The deadline was 2 weeks ago. Grades are done. Move along. Must try harder.

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Re: What will happen to today's young men and women?

Postby Tarlo Farm » Mon Dec 21, 2015 12:49 pm

Stick to it! As a former teacher, I know your pain.


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