Mysterious Caller

[PhoenixRising]

So, for months now a mysterious male caller has been calling my work, asking for me, and hanging up. It is really weirding me out. Any reply I or the other front desk people give results in them hanging up. The person always calls from an "anonymous" number so I have had no way of figuring out who might be calling or tracing the call. The person typically call 2-3 times a week I think, but today has already called twice. I'm not positive if it is always the same person, but it is always a male.
I'm not really sure what to do, but I think I'm right for being freaked out, but how do you handle this when you have no idea who is doing it? It cant be a bill collector or anything, they wouldn't hang up! Nothing else weird has happened though, no unexplained gifts, no one bothering me at home, nothing.
I can only think that the purpose of the call is to track if I am at work, and if I still work here. But WHY?

[fergusnc]

How scary! Are you comfortable asking the police for their thoughts?

[PhoenixRising]

How scary! Are you comfortable asking the police for their thoughts?

I have definitely considered that! I just wasn't sure if there was anything they could do

[Canyon]

I would be concerned, also. Here is a link with some ideas, if you want to figure out the phone number of Mr. Anonymous -

How to Trace Anonymous Phone Numbers

[Tarlo Farm]

Let the police know. They are familiar with various phone...issues.

[PhoenixRising]

I would be concerned, also. Here is a link with some ideas, if you want to figure out the phone number of Mr. Anonymous -

How to Trace Anonymous Phone Numbers

I've tried the *69 and it wont work. The only one that might be possible is the one that records the number with the phone provider. I spoke to my boss about it more, and let her know I kinda wanted to ask the police about it all. She agrees so I'll be calling/visiting them to find out if they can look into it.

I realized I picked a really bad day to post this, for the record it is NOT a joke!

[Josette]

I'm liking that press 57 feature to get them reported for harassment.

[hoopoe]

does your phone system allow blocking of numbers?

is your company large enough to have IT department that might be able to help. Can they change your number or is the creeper calling the main number. Is your number and name listed on a public web site? Could that be changed.

this is totally creepy

it might be worth having your car into a mechanic and having them check for a tracking device

[PhoenixRising]

As far as I know, blocking numbers isn't possible. We outsource most of out IT stuff and only have one IT guy in the office. I'm not positive because I have never looked, but I'm only an office service assistant, I highly doubt I am on the website.
We don't have direct numbers, this person is calling the front desk, asking for me by my first name, and then hanging up.
I agree, I'm totally weirded out. When I sat down and thought about it, this started like 9 months ago but the frequency of the calls has been increasing!
I'm definitely calling or visiting with the police Monday. My biggest fear right nowis that they'll tell me they can't do anything and just to be extra careful. As if I'm not already doing that. I'm a single woman living alone, I try to be very careful.
I honestly have no clue who this is. I have answered the phone when these calls come have happened, I don't recognize the voice. And even when my answer was "this is her" they hung up quickly.

[M&M]

The two possibilities are that they want to know if you are at work, or they want to know that you are NOT at home. I'm sorry you are going through this, and I'm very glad you are going to the police. Hopefully, they can offer real help.

[LeoApp]

You should never admit that it is you until you ascertain who is on the other end of the phone. A caller should immediately identify himself. So the protocol should be:
Person calls and says, "Is Bertha there?"
You say "Who is calling, please?"
At that point they have no info at all.

[Chisamba]

I could simply be that a telesales company has your work number, most of these have weird hang ups situations , anyway i hope that is all it is

[hoopoe]

Leo App makes a good point

perhaps the reception can address how they answer for you. It provides no info as to your presence. M&M makes teh second, balanced point as to why the phone answer protocol needs to be changed for you.

[AirsAboveNC]

You should never admit that it is you until you ascertain who is on the other end of the phone. A caller should immediately identify himself. So the protocol should be:
Person calls and says, "Is Bertha there?"
You say "Who is calling, please?"
At that point they have no info at all.

This. Or the front desk starts screening your calls before they're even sent to you.

[PhoenixRising]

I actually usually run the front desk 1/2 days but haven't been lately because the person I share the front desk with was in a car accident and is on work restrictions.
Typically the way our phones run, we only screen calls for a couple people. If someone is not available, we only say they are unavailable and not that they're at lunch, out of the office, etc. If someone IS in the office we say "one moment please" and transfer the call to that person.
The person in question has gotten every answer under the moon now and hangs up no matter what is said.
I have personally said "may I ask who is calling" and "this is her" and both got a prompt hangup.
Other people have tried to transfer the call to me only for the person hang up before they can transfer it, They have asked who is calling, they have said I am unavailable, everything.
My boss is a stickler for procedures, and is not likely to make a quick decision to change how my calls are answered. I asked her to ask everyone to start keeping track of when the person calls so that I could take that to the police,and she wants me to talk to the police before making any changes to how we do things. I'm sure if I tell her the police are concerned after talking to them, or something, that she will be willing to do things differently. But for now....

[Code3]

This is concerning. As a police officer, this is my advice: I would keep a log of when the person calls (date, time), what line it comes in on if you have more than one line, exactly what is said, and any caller ID. Can you set up to record the calls? That would be helpful. With a police report, the phone company can put a trap on the line and capture the number. If it's a throw away phone, that is an issue, but I think it would be worth the effort to try to identify this person. I don't know the state laws on Missouri, but in Oregon it is Telephonic Harassment to call someone with no communicative purpose. If nothing else, the police should make contact and put the person on notice. They should also let you know the identity. Is it possible it is an ex-boyfriend? Someone with an axe to grind? Sometimes, the police contact escalates things, so be prepared for that.

Obviously, be aware of your surroundings. Don't walk alone, don't walk with earphones or looking down at your phone, etc. Park in well lit areas. Have your keys out and ready. Get a whistle and have it handy. At home, keep your doors and windows closed and locked. Keep your cell phone with you and charged. All the standard safety tips I'm sure you're aware of.

Sorry - I sound pedantic. It's the cop in me.

[no.stirrups]

When I had a similar thing happening at home I learned that keeping a log does no good until after you talk to the police. They need to be asked to do whatever they need to do to monitor a line, then you keep a log and they can look back at who is calling during those times. I don't believe it matters if it is an anonymous number.

It may vary from place to place, but that was my experience.

My case was a lot less specific. We were getting random hang-up calls. A few years earlier we had gotten random hang-up calls which suddenly stopped after our house was broken into, so apparently the first time the calls were checking to see when we were home and to establish our routines. The second time, as it turns out, was just coincidence.

[PhoenixRising]

This is concerning. As a police officer, this is my advice: I would keep a log of when the person calls (date, time), what line it comes in on if you have more than one line, exactly what is said, and any caller ID. Can you set up to record the calls? That would be helpful. With a police report, the phone company can put a trap on the line and capture the number. If it's a throw away phone, that is an issue, but I think it would be worth the effort to try to identify this person. I don't know the state laws on Missouri, but in Oregon it is Telephonic Harassment to call someone with no communicative purpose. If nothing else, the police should make contact and put the person on notice. They should also let you know the identity. Is it possible it is an ex-boyfriend? Someone with an axe to grind? Sometimes, the police contact escalates things, so be prepared for that.

Obviously, be aware of your surroundings. Don't walk alone, don't walk with earphones or looking down at your phone, etc. Park in well lit areas. Have your keys out and ready. Get a whistle and have it handy. At home, keep your doors and windows closed and locked. Keep your cell phone with you and charged. All the standard safety tips I'm sure you're aware of.

Sorry - I sound pedantic. It's the cop in me.

There is only one ex boyfriend I think could be capable of this, and if it was him he is definitely not the one calling. His voice is very distinctive and I would have known when I answered the phone. I am honestly stumped, I can't think of who it could possibly be, which is part of what has me so concerned.

[PhoenixRising]

I just got off the phone with the PD. I will be going in on my lunch break and filing a phone harassment report. The officer I spoke to said he isn't sure there is much they can do, since it is from a blocked number and I have no idea who it could be, but that I should definitely file the report and get it documented.

ETA: After speaking with my boss, she wanted them to come here for me to file the report instead of me going there so that she can also speak with them. So they will be here soon to take the report. This will be fun, answering everyone's questions after they leave. The majority of the office doesn't know what is going on

[PhoenixRising]

Alright, spoke with the police.
A very kind officer came and took the report, he does also seem concerned. He has recommended I install cameras around my home just in case. We will be keeping a log by the phone to track the date, time, and brief description of the call. If the calls get any more frequent or they continue calling more than once in a day we will be contacting them. Also, if the calls become "emotional" we will be contacting them immediately, or if any thing else strange begins happening.
I'm speaking with my landlord about what has been happening, and letting him know about possible cameras. I'm also debating, and wanting to talk to him about the possibility of borrowing or adoption a protection dog, since I have no real means of protection in my home. I think I would feel a lot better at night knowing something had my back LOL

[fergusnc]

I was going to ask you about whether you had a dog. It doesn't have to be protection trained. It just needs to bark at noises, and sound big. And due to your concerning situation and having no clue who this might be calling, if you get a dog and go for walks, I would not let any strangers pet it…let everyone think your super friendly 55lb mutt is actually unfriendly or protection trained by you just saying "no thank you he is working" and keeping him focused on you versus falling all over himself to lick the strangers!

I am really glad people are being supportive of you in all of this!

[PhoenixRising]

I was going to ask you about whether you had a dog. It doesn't have to be protection trained. It just needs to bark at noises, and sound big. And due to your concerning situation and having no clue who this might be calling, if you get a dog and go for walks, I would not let any strangers pet it…let everyone think your super friendly 55lb mutt is actually unfriendly or protection trained by you just saying "no thank you he is working" and keeping him focused on you versus falling all over himself to lick the strangers!

I am really glad people are being supportive of you in all of this!

I have 2 dogs already. But the bigger one is a scaredy cat so not really good help. She sometimes barks, sometimes doesn't. The other weighs less than 10lbs so no help there either.
My landlord would have to OK a 3rd first, and if he does I might not go full fledged protection dog, they seem pretty expensive. I know someone who might be re-homing an older German Shepherd that has some Schutzhund training, but it might need a refresher course. I think that might be the avenue I check first if I get the OK.

[hoopoe]

electronic watchdog there are several types

http://www.amazon.com/Home-Safe-EWD-1-E ... 94&sr=1-10

[PhoenixRising]

The electronic one might work for deterring people from the house, but I'm more worried about my actual protection. I would love something that can go to the barn with me (I'm frequently there alone) and sleep in my bedroom unkenneled/ free roam the house when I am not home(my current dogs cannot do that, and wouldn't be any help anyway). Something that is trained to protect "on command", not just on instinct. My landlord has said a dog for my personal protection is OK with him. As he put it, "your home is your palace and you have to feel safe". I'm going to look around some, but it has to be the perfect dog. It seems like the fully trained dogs are probably too expensive for me, so I'm keeping an open mind. If I can find something that is older and already house trained but that would still be be suitable for training for some protection work then I'm open to taking some classes with it.
I'll also be looking into owning a gun. I've had that in the back of my mind since I moved into my own place, but I have never really followed through on it.
Maybe I'm blowing it all out of proportion, but I would rather be overly proactive and safe, than be a victim.

[Tarlo Farm]

Most dogs become territorial all on their own. And simple noise is the biggest deterrent. If you went to the pound and got an adult dog that bonded with you (you'll know before you chose the dog, because it will chose you) you'd be good to go. The idea of you getting a gun bothers me. You're scared, and it takes time to learn to use one safely, confidently, and correctly.

[PhoenixRising]

Most dogs become territorial all on their own. And simple noise is the biggest deterrent. If you went to the pound and got an adult dog that bonded with you (you'll know before you chose the dog, because it will chose you) you'd be good to go. The idea of you getting a gun bothers me. You're scared, and it takes time to learn to use one safely, confidently, and correctly.

I'm sorry, I should have specified. I know how to shoot already, I'm pretty comfortable with a gun, I have just never gotten one for myself and always rented at the range or used other people's

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[PhoenixRising]

Its been almost 2 weeks since the police report. Not a single call since.
I'm not really sure how I should feel about it. In my eyes there are 3 possible options.

1. The front desk person was exaggerating/misinterpreting how frequent the calls are/were.
2. The person calling is one of the few people who know I filed a police report.
3. The person calling is watching closely enough to know I called the police.

[kande50]

Its been almost 2 weeks since the police report. Not a single call since.
I'm not really sure how I should feel about it. In my eyes there are 3 possible options.

1. The front desk person was exaggerating/misinterpreting how frequent the calls are/were.

Do you know if she tends to exaggerate and/or tells little white lies to get attention? Did the police ask her how many times a day, or week, they'd been calling or did she report the frequency to you before you went to the police? How did she react when you told her you were going to contact the police?

2. The person calling is one of the few people who know I filed a police report.

Do you know who knows? Do the police know who knows on their end?

3. The person calling is watching closely enough to know I called the police.

Not sure how you'd sort that one out? Could the person be reading this board, or any of the other places you might have posted about the problem? Could they have access to your online activity?

[Quelah]

I'm glad you haven't had any more calls. Having gone through a nearly two year long nightmare, you have my sympathies. Mind was a paroled felon living first in a trailer and then in a cave across the street. It's over now, I hope. I'm glad you didn't get a Schutzhund dog, they are no guaranteed protection. Schutzhund is a dog sport that tends to be police dog breed based, but it's not personal protection. I have a Sch III dog, titled in Germany. He's useless for protection. He looks the part, but he wouldn't do anything. The nearly two year old female that I got at six months old, was "set phasers on kill" two days after I brought her home. She is a nasty piece of work and no one will get within 100 feet of me (farther at home) without her making her intentions unpleasantly clear. OTOH, if anyone comes to the house, friend or foe, I have to lock her up. I'm a hermit who lives in a remote area, so that's ok with me If you want your dog to be protective, don't over socialize her. You can't have it both ways if you really want the dog to protect. JMO.

[khall]

Quelah, not so sure about over socialized and protective. I have a lab/hound X who is the most friendliest dog to people, but if he thinks I am threatened watch out!! He came close to biting my DH when DH got too close to me with the big bad weed eater he was wielding. Shocked the heck out of me, did not know that Hank had that in him. This from the dog who at 60 lbs insists he is a lap dog to anyone and everyone that he can con into accepting him in their laps.

I also rescued a AussieX female who was very social to any and all unless it was from an unusual source. Again DH almost got bitten when he came to the fence line right by the barn from a direction that no one usually came from.

OP hope the calls have stopped and for good. Never a good feeling when you live alone and have unwanted attention from someone. BTDT when I lived on a big farm in the boonies with a door that would not lock. A gun and my GSDx was my protection then.

[fergusnc]

PR...your possibilities are not fun ones. I really hope it's a front desk worker who is a drama queen, though that makes me scratch my head. Please stay safe and attentive...don't be scared but don't stop being alert.

To add to dog stories...just because dog stories are fun....my college dog was a mostly chow mix. Socialized the heck out of her from five months old when I got her from the pound. She went to watch rugby games every weekend, went to an occasional class with me, had visitors all the time. She was very mellow, but not as almost-aloof like purebred chows. But she watched everything and everyone. She did not over react. She was fine with dogs but would sense the smallest challenge, and she would end it...the dog would be belly up before I ever saw it coming, never hurt any of those dogs. Fearless. Two separate times took on loose Rotties that came too close to me....one she ran off at the beach and it went straight to a lady whose small puppy was at her feet and the Rottie had its mouth hovering over the puppy, it's body language not friendly and the lady was frozen in terror....my dog took back off at the big dog and body slammed it away from the puppy. She was 54 pounds at her heaviest. The Rottie appeared to be well over 100. It ran off, my dog tried to continue chase. I begged a stranger to grab her anyway he could, that she wouldn't bite...her collar was already out of reach. He grabbed her gigantic fluffy tail, I called out for her to "whoa" and she did. She came right back to all humans around, sniffed everyone, checked on puppy, and she and I went home. I was a weak kneed mess. She acted like nothing happened. Another time a loose dog was trying to attack my second dog while I was walking my two. My second dog was a terrified mess, doing all he could to show submission, and this dog wanted to rip him apart. My chow girl, who was about ten years old with arthritis from two previous ACL ruptures and surgeries, literally jumped over my second dog, to the end of her leash, got into guard stance, keeping me and my second dog behind her. That loose dog kept circling us, growling, low to the ground, teeth bared, eyes locked on my second dog. My chow girl circled with loose dog, who was about 25 pound bigger than my chow girl, always keeping us behind her, always keeping us moving so she was in prime position. It went on for probably 3 minutes til owner ran down street to grab dog. It felt like an hour. Then we walked home, past dog's house, and my girl gave the look of death, no sounds...neighbor do averted her eyes and laid down. My car broke down on the interstate once. As I walked off the exit (before cell phones) to go to the mechanic I could see from the highway, a truck pulled over. Two creepy guys. Said they'd drive me. I kept as far from them as I could so no one could jump out and grab me without a huge effort. I kept refusing, they drove super slow beside me as I walked. I had my dog with me in the car so of course put her on a leash and took her when I left the vehicle. I don't know what was the trigger, maybe the stopped their vehicle, maybe they started to open I door...I can't remember...but she lunged in the direction of the truck, full Cujo, and they sped off. Again, acted as if nothing happened. She physically stepped in between my roommate and a stranger once when the stranger...who gave my roomie a creepy vibe...tried to keep her from closing the front door. My dog came out of nowhere...no barks or growls ever....just appeared and pushed into the space like she was saying "go ahead, but I have warned you". Once I got pulled over for speeding during the 14 hour drive home from college. The officer got off his motorcycle and started approaching the car. My dog went insane. Barking, growling, literally throwing herself against the glass. I could only barely crack my window and the officer asked "does you dog bite?" I told him she never had before but I wasn't about to count on that now, and no I would not roll down my window more, and slid out the needed items through that crack. And I did get a ticket.
If you met her at a party or at the park, I don't think you'd ever know the fluff ball would have done any of those things.

[DD2]

Holy crap Fegusnc...that is one thorough accounting of a dog bodyguard!

[fergusnc]

LOL.
Those are the big ones I remembered easily about 14 years after I had to put her to sleep. I bet there are more. I always felt so safe with her, and my Dad once told me that as much as they hated me driving alone on the 14 hour one way trip to/from college, they felt so much better knowing my girl was with me…they knew the stories. Years later, they felt similarly about my by Oscar who is now facing down his 11th birthday, but Dad would always add how there was just no dog like my chow girl.

[Tarlo Farm]

Still a weird situation. As a camera for your apartment, Trail Cams (trail cameras) are relatively cheap and easy to install and move around.

[PhoenixRising]

It seemed for a long time that these calls had stopped. However today a caller fitting the same m.o. called. I had even thrown away the call log as it seemed they had stopped. *sigh* Here we go again.
I'm hoping this time he doesn't realize I'm onto him and I can get some solid information to take to the police. (call frequency, dates, times etc) I will be pressing charges if I can ever figure out who this is.
I never did follow through with cameras or anything at home, maybe I will now if things progress again.

[Amado]

Yikes. Hope you figure out who it is.